In Brevity: Shitter #RIPTwitter

How Twitter really worksChuckling to myself, I went on Twitter and wrote a tweet. I cleverly included a hashtag and clicked the “Tweet” button. Damn, but I’m funny.

I was now a content producer. Please, no autographs.

Excited, I clicked the hashtag which had magically transformed into a link to bask in the glory of my newfound celebrity status.

My eyes scanned the page. Uh oh, trouble! My tweet was nowhere in sight! “Alas, what’s happened?!” I cried out to the universe.

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Brevity is: Spamily

brevity-isIt’s not the gift but the thought that counts. Or so I’ve been told. And the thought behind this gift spoke volumes, the thoughtfulness of a $50 gift card to Olive Garden from a boss in lieu of a legitimate Christmas bonus.

Not that I’m known for having a fondness for Olive Garden. I haven’t been to one in over 10 years. Still, a gift card to dinner is marginally better than last year’s bonus, a gift card to Walmart which was used to get kitty litter. Joy.

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Guru Comic: A New Hopeful

guru-hopeful

Brevity is: Puzzled

brevity-is999 puzzle pieces on the wall
999 puzzle pieces
Take one down
Pass it around
We’re doomed

I don’t do puzzles. But Friday was “National Puzzle Day” and the wife insisted.

From out of nowhere she produced a 1,000-piece puzzle. It was a photograph of candy wrappers. It was used. I moaned, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

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Brevity is: Bundylands

brevity-isIntroducing a new series entitled simply: “Brevity is.” I’m tackling subjects and keeping things as short as my temper. -Ed.

Cattle rancher Cliven Bundy has a bone to pick with the federal government. What’s his point?

Paraphrased in my own words it’s something like this:

It’s always been this way. Therefore it can’t be changed.

Refresher: Law is an arbitrary human construct. Everything is subject to change. Even the U.S. Constitution includes a procedure for updating itself.

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Spoilers a Spoilin’ to Spoil the Spoils

ridiculous-car-spoilers-01

Spoiler alert.

Welp. I finally did it. I went and saw the Star Wars.

I think I waited the right amount of time. There were only 12 people in the theater including one annoying brat. These days that qualifies as the best moviegoing experience of all time. Even so, we still defied the odds and had one of the glowing-screen folk in our midst. Who says you can’t have it all?

If you haven’t seen the movie yet you might want to leave now. And hates you, I do.

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Guru Comic: A New Star Shining

guru-new-star-shining

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