Monthly Archives: April, 2012

Office of Deck Seating, RMS Titanic

We’ve all heard it said so many times our eardrums want to vomit:

“You gotta love what you do.”

For me, work is an ongoing exercise in fighting natural and innate human tendencies. For example, if you think your boss is screwing you in a myriad of ways, you might be tempted to embark on a route of passive resistance. Maybe something like steal from the boss? After all, he/she deserves it, right? I’ve felt the allure of this particular demon but so far I’ve found the urge to resist. It’s a little something to cling to: Even in this bleak landscape I can find at least one little thing to feel proud about. I am still me and they can’t change that.
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Great Google-y Moogly!

There’s an urban myth that states: A frog thrown in water hot enough to be lethal will leap out and live to leap again another day. But a frog put in regular water that is slowly heated will remain blissfully unawares and hang around until … wait for it … he croaks.

Truth be told, I’ve been feeling a lot like the protagonist, our hero, The Frog. And the nemesis, the hot water? Our very own beloved Google.

As time went by I found myself in “hot water” more and more often. First Google offered to turn my bread into toast. Then it offered to butter that toast. Now all of the sudden it is picking out the jams and even puts it in my mouth and chews for me.

All I have to do is swallow. Isn’t that convenient?
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Silent Saturday: iPod Photos

I actually have blog ideas today. But I’m not in the mood to write. Weird how it works like that, eh?

I loaded some recent photos from my iPod and decided to throw them online.

Like a boss.

On Thursday this week the boss decided to rip coworker a new one for how he packaged a box. He said, “I don’t know who trained you, but I prefer it like this. Here’s a list of 25 things I would have done differently. I’m going to explain in vivid detail on each one of those how your way sucks.”

Lo and behold, I happen to have captured a pic of how the boss really does it when there is no one around to insult. Not exactly the quality job that he said he demands from others is it?

Click the jump for even more photographic explorations like these! I promise they are not all about the boss.
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I’ve looked at tequila from both sides now – Das Boot

I asked for a "glass boot" and got a set of these. It still serves as an adequate delivery system for tequila, though.

It was a simple request.

“You want us to watch for anything special when we hit the thrift stores?”

“Sure. A glass boot.”

(laughing) “Yeah, right. Be serious, you ass!”

“I am being serious. It’s a boot, made out of class, maybe two feet high. My parents had one. I remember it had a German beer label on it. You drink beer from it. I always wanted to do that.”

They came back with a set of of little tiny glass cowboy boots. Not exactly the same, but yee haw. Let’s fill that son of a bitch with some tequila! I think that’s perfect glassware for the Abyss.
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Chess and Mate

As a public service, we now continue our coverage of the Mitt Romney campaign…

During a recent whistle stop tour, Republican presumptive nominee Mitt Romney delivered two stump speeches to two very different groups. We embedded our correspondents who filed these reports.
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Phones in Restaurants: Call Hating

Press *42 for my fist in your face.

Oops. Once upon a time someone told me I’m supposed to swallow my violent tendencies. I no longer remember who that was. Oh well, must not have been anyone important.

Oh. I see I just failed. Let’s try this again.

Hey, everybody! I’ve got a great idea on how to handle to chum-bucket assholes with phones in restaurants!

There. Is that better?
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Termination Tuesday – All Good Things

Sponsored by Preparation H.

Termination is such sweet sorrow.
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