I’m on a Blogroll

I got boogie fever. Let's do the blogroll dance.

Oh shit. I just noticed my humble blog was on someone’s blogroll under the category heading, “Hilarious.” Come on!!! There has been some kind of serious mistake.

God, no. Now the pressure is really on. Time to crack. But it’s true. Negativity in just the right amounts can be funny. Why is that? I don’t know. Perhaps it is the secret part inside each of us that gets off on seeing the pathetic in others. That might also explain my love/hate relationship with mirrors.

If you happen to have me blogrolled under the “Hilarious” heading, please don’t be offended. Of course I’m not talking about you. I’m talking about the other people who have done it. And I don’t mean this as an insult. Truly, I take it as a compliment. And a sign that you may have licked a few too many lead-paint walls.

As things sit now, I’m about 70 days from successfully blogging 1,000 days in a row. There have been many ups and downs along the way.

By the way: Got any blogging suggestions for my special 1,000-days-in-a-row post? Let me know. Right now my frontrunner idea is me trying to set the world record for eating granulated sugar in a single sitting live on webcam. How much would you pay to see that?

The upsides of blogging are obvious. I consider each and every view the special gift of nectar from the gods. I am truly appreciative every time someone takes a moment to take a look.

A click of the “LIKE” button, although much more rare, is also very much appreciated. It’s like saying, “Kilroy was here. But Kilroy had nothing to add.” I always pay attention to where the likes come from and at least pay a visit to the linked blog, if there is one.

A comment, though? If blogging was like football then a comment would be like a touchdown. And like all touchdowns, I do my signature dance every time I get one. A comment is like a view/like on steroids.

There is one other thing higher than a comment that does occasionally happen. It’s when someone tweets a link to your post. Shazam! I can only imagine that must be what it feels like to get a base hit and make it to first base. I wouldn’t know. I only played Little League for five years. I do know, however, what it feels like to play in left field, have the ball hit your glove and then land on the ground in front of you. Maybe that’s something close to what it feels like?

The all-holy “stats” are another way to feel good (or bad) about your blog. March 2012 was the second best month ever for my blog. In reality it’s really probably the best since the stats were skewed by a single post that hit paydirt on Reddit once.

On the other hand, as my wife will attest, there have been many months when the stats were very low and I considered throwing in the towel. As a true negativist, it only takes the slightest amount of adversity to make me want to jump into the sarlac pit.

My sense these days is that stats are mostly meaningless and only a small percentage of the number represents real readers. If anything, the stats represent how much useless traffic you’re getting from search engines from people who totally don’t give a flying shit about your blog. Most of my traffic seems to be image searches for two pictures that apparently are high in the results on Google. Especially the one about me being killed in a helicopter crash. Weird, but none of these people ever seem to stick around to read more and get to know the real me. I have since learned to call this sort of traffic “intelligent.”

I’d read books and posts about blogging with tips like, “Try to post every day so your readers will come to expect fresh content.” But my stats continued to sink. On low months I’d be like, “What the hell is the point? Three real human visitors a day isn’t a blog. It’s a side show at the circus!”

My wife recently has been picking at my consciousness lately, questioning the judgement of my every-single-fucking-day approach to blogging. She seems to feel that there might be a benefit to taking a little more time to add quality to my posts. It’s that same tired old “quality over quantity” argument that we’ve had many, many times.

Overall I’m glad I’ve stuck with the blogging. By far this is probably the longest I’ve ever done anything, except, perhaps, add to my collection of “participant” ribbons.

Milestones seem to mean something to me and something tells me 1,000 is a nice round number. After that, I might consider going more intermittent on your asses. I have been feeling the blog has become this ethereal insurmountable wall lately, usually when I try to come up with something to write about. It has really been tough going.

In the meantime, I know that my blogroll is seriously out of date. I love everyone and hate to cull dead links from the list. It’s sad but sometimes your favorite bloggers just up and disappear. I guess they figured out a way to block me.

If you link to this blog and I haven’t found your blog yet, please let me know. I will try to make the time and return the favor to those of you who have no shame and tell the world about me on your own blogrolls.

But, remember this. You can do me (and the world) a favor by keeping me out of the “Hilarious” section and putting me where I truly belong. Here are some suggestions:

  • Participants
  • People To Avoid
  • For When You Feel Too Good
  • Poop
  • Guilty By Association
  • The Empty Empty
  • Prohibido

Thanks!

15 responses

  1. I have you listed under “Oh, my aching head!” Just kidding.

    Don’t cull me as a dead link just yet. I have a horde of posts in my drafts file just waiting to be released onto the unsuspecting and uninterested world! I, too, am sad that some of my favorite bloggers have gone silent. I’ve see a few defunct bloggers in the twitterverse (where I’ve recently tiptoed) and notice that they are now reduced to tweets consisting mostly of @ and #. How the mighty have fallen. Keep blogging and tweeting. You could spend more time on the antiquated site of Facebook, too.

    1. Beautiful. “Oh, my aching head!” is the perfect place to compartmentalize me. Do it, do it!

      And I don’t like newfangled gadgets like the damn Facebook that the kids use! :)

      Seeing our fallen commrades is sad, I admit. I’m still hoping one of them will be back. I’m not mentioning any names, but I now call her “BLOCKdramedy” because I’ve been blocked from seeing all of her online activity. How rude.

      Future civilizations will interpret all of those @ and # symbols as our hieroglyphics. LOLZ!

  2. had to check since I’m the same, need to go thru my blogroll and see who is alive. Found you under my pure awesomness links but guess Fetish might have been better :)

    1. Negativity fetish. Not for the squeamish, I guess. I’m just glad to be in there somewhere! I’m not worthy. :)

  3. That “1,000-days-in-a-row post” thing is waaay out of my league buddy! I post only when what I’m keeping in threatens to burst through my chest like the nightmarishly cute little guy from that “Alien” movie. It certainly has nothing to do with “quality” or any other such unattainable (by me) thing.

    And trust me, while “trying to set the world record for eating granulated sugar in a single sitting live on webcam” would no doubt “Go Viral” and gain you some of that juicy “YouTube Immortality” (that lasts for all of a week, at best), it’s absolutely NOT worth risking an almost inevitable diabetic coma. Been there and done that. Unless you’re planning to “Go Viral” with a catchily entitled “Death Watch” video as well, I strongly advise against it!

    Anyway… I’ve Liked, Tweeted, Facebooked, Tumbled, and given this post a 5 Star rating. I’ve also had you listed under my “Sympathetic Chords” blogroll for as long as I’ve been aware of your blog. Yet, somehow, I’ve never made it onto yours!?!?

    Now I can certainly understand if “Sympathetic Chords” is just too damned lame to be respected (even if it does contain a wink, wink reference to “Pathetic”), or if my blog itself is just too lame (I know that’s exactly what I think!), but if this has been a mere oversight…

    1. If the 1,000 days in a row goes well, I plan to try to do it 1,000 times. Wish me luck.

      If I waited around on that Alien-in-the-chest feeling I’d never get anything done around here.

      The sugar idea rocks, doesn’t it? I did contemplate the “Death Watch” aspect and concluded wisely that it was well worth the risk.

      Thanks for the “Sympathetic Chords,” by the way. That’s far too kind. Most be some kind of reference to my firewood?

      Pathetic FTW!

  4. How about under the heading of “Saying what you’re thinking, but in a more clever and socially unacceptable way that’s still lots of fun to hear at parties as long as it isn’t directed at you”?
    Or should I go for something clearer?

    Rock on, Tom,and congrats.

    1. You’re new around here so I’ll forgive your positive words. There are no second chance, though, and, as always, no points for second place!

      Thanks!

  5. “I do my signature dance every time I get one.”

    Dance baby, dance!
    ;)

    1. I’ve made a huge mistake. I realize it now. I’ve given you the power to make me dance. Come on!! Oh well, time to break out my signature moves.

  6. You are on my freaking blogroll under “Hilarity”. Not the same thing at all, & you’ll stay there & like it.

    I read most of my favorite blogs from my phone, now, since my laptop has decided to have a stroke, & we’re relearning how to write through the aphasia. Yes, you’re on that list.

    Alright, I stopped by, I liked, I commented. Now-dance- on You-Tube. I dare you. ;)

    1. I can dance. I can YouTube. Unfortunately I can’t do both or the space-time continuum gets destroyed. I’m sure you understand.

      I hope you saw the secret message I embedded in this message just for you.

      “Of course I’m not talking about you. I’m talking about the other people who have done it.”

      Never forget that I’m on your side. :) And, thanks for being my muse.

      1. Tom, it’s funny because we so often see our own sad little lives reflected in your words… and it’s always funnier to laugh at someone else than at ourselves. You have that way with words – so Tag – you’re it.

        Most of the time when I read your blog – inside my head I’m groaning and thinking “Thank all the little gods that it’s not just me suffering from this asinine reality!”

        It’s more relief, like after leaving a “big one” behind you at the end of a very “irregular” day.

  7. I have you under “Thought Provoking” but next time I redo my links, I’ll think about adding a Poop category. That’s a good idea!

    1. It is truly amazing how a little poop can really spruce up a blog!

Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

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