Termination is such sweet sorrow.
Finally! A Termination Tuesday post where I don’t have to create a poll. It’s over. And it wasn’t even close.
The Super Bowel was a blowout. (You really can’t say that sentence enough, can you?)
In an anticlimactic shutout victory, Wood Chipper became a World Champion and the first ever winner of the Termination Tuesday competition sponsored by the Shouts From The Abyss blog.
Why a “world” champion when the tournament took place here in the United States? No particular reason. That’s just how irrelevant we Americans deem the rest of you son of a bitches really are, you know?
The heavy favorite Wood Chipper kept it classy to the end, wearing a “world champion” t-shirt and hat at the start of the competition.
On the field after the competition, Wood Chipper said, “I’m going to Disneyland.” This was seen by many to be a slap in the face at Disneyland Ride who was eliminated in the first round of Termination Tuesday.
Fans back home at A&E and TLC watched the competition and cheered for local favorite Crushed (hoarding). Spokespersons for both networks expressed pride that the underdog had made it so far.
So, this is it. The big goodbye. As they say, all good things must come to an end and so it must be with this series of posts. It is time for death to ride off into the sunset. This reporter has appreciated the opportunity to cover this event and appreciates everyone who took the time to vote. You should all be very proud of yourselves and what we accomplished here. Together. Go team!
Be sure to pick up some officially licensed Termination Tuesday gear and jerseys on your way out. Personally I’m going for the Ice Pick to Head t-shirt with “Taker” on the back. And an Immurement beer cozy, of course.