The restaurant industry tends to be cyclical. It’s one trend followed by another. You’re cutting edge for a while and then you’re chasing the pack. It can be a real rat race. Perhaps lemmings are involved?
Yes, I’m trying to include lots of references to rodentia. We’re talking about restaurants here. I don’t recognize sacred cows. Like always I gotta keep it classy.
There’s a trend where celebrity chefs are seen everywhere except in their own kitchens. I’m looking but not looking at you, Naomi Pomeroy. Squee. One final Beast reference.
Honey Badger, though, will have the last word. Keep reading.
It was beautiful! I felt alive. I loved everything I could see. I sprinted out into the street and hugged the garbage man. He was beautiful. He looked really surprised. Maybe I should have worn pants but there was no time for that.
In my hands I held a Christmas card. It was even addressed to me. To me! Someone had sent me a Christmas card. A bona fide recipient of the Ribbon of Participation. I was finally somebody.
“God bless us, every one!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. I’d never felt a stronger sense of belonging.
Yes, it was time for a let down.
All you have to do is figure out what’s going on in this excerpted column of numbers. Any bean counters out there? This is a great way to spend your free time.
Don’t bother searching for help. Even the almighty Google is powerless to help you here.
293964673 843711893 934911548 657511668 675385661 629282665 428252383 827272787 137477727 111774723 111167338 111185574 111166766 111156824 111122114 111177114 111126116 111199116 625268916 628863136 634362136 832337832 433338138 533333933 433333633 433333133 433333833 611179566 211159619 911187516 111111316 111111114 111111117 111111115 111111113 111111111
Once again that special time of year is nigh upon us. The holidays. Where we gather with family and friends around fire and hearth to poke at each other’s eyeballs with forks.
Run. I mean that in a T-Rex-is-gaining-on-us-in-the-Jeep sort of way.
From time to time my wife will venture out to work for the Portland elite to line her pocketses with a few handfuls of coppers. She hangs out her shingle as consultant and efficiency expert. That means, of course, employers will spend their entire day trying to trick her into changing diapers, walking the dog and running to Starbucks for another Cornucopia of Venti.
The following is a true story. No embellishment.
It was Thanksgiving. The husband’s parents arrived for a two-week stay. The day after Thanksgiving the wife took off, on her own, to vacation separately in Palm Springs until the in-laws had safely left town.
Why didn’t I think of that?! Stoopid, stoopid, stoopid. Me so stupid! Me bad.
With the in-laws left home alone, the husband locked himself away in the office. The nanny watched their children. And the mother-in-law proceeded to grill household staff. “What the hell does she do around here, anyway?”
God bless us, every one.
I had big plans to make this post into a book. If it has enough pages it would make a serviceable blunt instrument. Killing two birds with one tome!
Originally posted on Shouts from the Abyss:
Being the boss is a hard job, but someone has to do it. Sure, it looks like fun, which is why secretly we’re all jealous. We all want to be the boss. But if you aren’t extremely careful you might do something nice, like build up your employees, or accidentally treat a lower-down with dignity and humanity.
Being the boss means you have to be ever diligent.
Sure, a lot of countries still allow employers to legally kill their employees, and you can certainly take that route, if you wish. But be honest. There isn’t much sport in giving an employee a love tap with a Luger to the skull. Real destruction takes a little more finesse and effort. Most employees have the potential to be worthy prey. Why waste that potential on a mere head shot?
There is no real right or wrong way to destroy an employee…
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Over the river and through the woods to the Nudge Wink Report where you’ll find my thoughts on festive holiday beverages. Was I naughty or nice? You make the call! Either way it’s still my gift to you. Don’t look so disappointed.
Originally posted on The Nudge Wink Report:
All of the old-fashioned giving this time of year is making me thirsty. I just made a donation in your name to The Human Fund and now I’m exhausted. It must be time for Festivus, especially the hip flask. Sometimes I celebrate a night early.
I’m in the spirit for some holiday cheer so me and my good buddy, the Ghost of Christmas Past, hit the town to chaser down some of the festive offerings. Let’s see what’s out there.
Beware of fast food outfits bearing gifts. Who knew that Sugar, Sugar was a Christmas song?
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