Drunk Plank

shot-glass-and-car-keysWhy do we tolerate? Why do we, as a society, utterly lack the spine to properly address the problem of drunk driving? Our inaction is basically a way of saying, “We accept the loss of innocent lives as an irrationality inherent in the system and one that we are powerless or unwilling to prevent.”

We are not powerless. More can and should be done. All we have to do is defeat the apathy that comes along with “it hasn’t affected me personally … yet.”

Some basic stats:

  • Each day, people drive drunk almost 300,000 times, but fewer than 4,000 are arrested.1
  • In 2011, 226 children were killed in drunk driving crashes. Of those, 122 (54% percent) were riding with the drunk driver.1
  • Since 1982 fatalities have decreased by 51%. Since 1991 they’ve declined by 35%. However, fatalities increased from 2011 to 2012.2
  • There are about 9,000 to 10,000 fatalities per year due to drunk driving in the United States.2
  1. Source: MADD – Statistics
  2. Source: The Foundation for Advancing Alcohol Responsibility

The other day I was reading about a famous U.S. bicyclist who traveled the world and “supported the message of peace” and had been killed while bicycling in Russia. Ron McGerity, age 60, had visited 61 countries over the past 15 years and logged more than 75,000 miles on his bike. He was hit and killed by a truck driver who fled the scene and was later located and suspected by police of being drunk. (Source: RT.)

In a different case, a young mother was killed by a drunk driver leaving two young children behind. The drunk driver also survived.

Far too many innocent lives are lost. Far too many innocent lives are irrevocably affected.

So why is this still such a problem? I believe it’s because we don’t do enough to stop it.
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Pain Man

banksy-girlI’m sitting here writing this post in my Kmart underwear … and nothing else. Yes, even though Kmart sucks. Maybe because of it. I gotta be me. We all know how much I enjoy humiliation.

I don’t know much and what I do know seems to be shrinking on an almost daily basis. My existence is increasingly consumed by thoughts regarding my sanity.

For those keeping track the opening paragraph was “underwear” and the follow-up paragraph was “shrinkage.” This is known as a progression of ideas. I’m building up to something. You are wise to still be reading this.

Aside from all that, there seems to be something else going on.

My rate of “Rain Man” moments seems to be on the rise. There’s been an uptick in momentia, if you will.

No, we decidedly do not refer to them as “senior moments.” Despite being a grumpy grandpa and standing on my lawn and yelling at kids, I’m not ready for that schtick just yet. Not while I’m still young and in my prime.

Besides, I’m an excellent driver.

Then I was responsible for a car accident after going to the pharmacy to pick up my “meds.” Oh, shit. Did I just use the word “meds?” This is the end.

So yeah, that happened.
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Who Makes the Comedians Laugh? A Humor Blog Roundup


Bonus Reblog: Mainly because of all the unparalleled namedropping that goes on. Me like-y so you read-y.

Originally posted on The Daily Post:

When we picked the brains of yesterday’s humor panelists, we didn’t just ask them how to make others laugh — we asked who makes them laugh. Here, for your reading pleasure, are the bloggers who crack up the comedians:

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Dear Taco Bell


Remember the Black Taco? It came with something called “Volcano Sauce,” which, if memory serves, came from a new venereal disease which was caused by the Black Taco itself. I know, I know! It’s a Chicken and Egg type of thing. Best not to think about it too much. Somehow this piece of Classic Abyssicana circa 2009 never generated any comments? I think it was the internet’s way of telling me, “You can go to black taco shell!” That’s just cracked.

Originally posted on Shouts from the Abyss:

Ears were made for holding spare tacos

Dear Taco Bell,

I went in to buy a burrito. I had 89 cents from my piggy bank I had just smashed with a hammer when mom wasn’t looking. I also put a hole in the wall. All I wanted was a bean burrito. I was told I needed 10 more cents. Why can’t I has a bean burrito? Why?



P.S. God bless us, every one!

Dear Timmy,

Thank you for your kind note. Have you tried our black taco?

We aren’t really sure why our Chicken Burrito costs only 89 cents but a Bean Burrito costs 99 cents. I guess we’re just a bunch of idiots.

Black taco-ly yours,

Ronald McTaco

P.S. The only God we recognize is black taco. Oh, and have we mentioned the black taco yet?

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Pixelated Mail Delivery: The Cannes You Requested

Definitely an instance where less could be more.

Definitely an instance where less could be more.

An impromptu quickie post after I saw this headline in the Daily Mail:

Cannes you say blossoming new romance? Topless Amy Willerton cuddles up to mystery man clad in skimpy pink bikini pants during steamy French escape

–Daily Mail headline

The story was, of course, accompanied by pictures of a young woman with pixelated naked breasts.

This prompts several questions.

Is “Cannes” supposed to be some cutesy reference to female body parts?

Who or what is Amy Willerton?

Why is she topless? That must have been the “Steamy French Escape?” (An excellent movie, by the way.)

Why does she like to cuddle up to mystery men, specially those clad in skimpy pink bikini pants?

Inquiring minds want to know!

Source: Daily Mail

Democracy Needs an Educated Citizenry


Short and sweet thoughts about public education. I couldn’t agree more. That makes this post my reblog of the week.

Originally posted on mrsfenger:

We need schools www.mrsfenger.wordpress.com

We keep hearing that public education is broken.  That schools are no longer doing a good job.  That we need to stop sending taxpayer dollars to the schools.  People seem to think if we cut off the money, schools will improve.

I think there’s more to it than that.  I think we, as a people, need to decide what it is we want schools to do.  Clearly, public schools are seen as effective.  Everything anyone wants to see changed in our society is pushed onto the schools.  Want your child to be nicer?  Lobby the school district to put in more character education.  Want children to know about storm safety?  Send storm safety coloring books to their schools.  Concerned about bullying?  Pass legislation that schools need to develop lesson plans to stop bullies.

Given the obvious belief that public education can change lives, shouldn’t we be more supportive?

Thomas Jefferson…

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Big Tail Adventures: The Butcher Block



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