Tag Archives: short

Cramazon Dot Com #drabble #amazon

cramazonCramazon Dot Com
by Tom B. Taker

Half-way through the shift and I was behind schedule. Panting, blisters popping, I paused for a 15-second break.

The urgent alerts from the GPS strapped to my head couldn’t shake the bliss.

Six seconds later the floor manager showed up. “That’s it,” he said. “This is a verbal.”

The GPS parroted the threat. “Verbal! Verbal!”

“Two more and you’re fired!”

Humans weren’t meant to micromanaged to the nanosecond by computers. I snapped. My lightning fast quick draw would have been enough to take out Wyatt Earp himself.

I scanned him right in the face. He screamed. I ran.

A drabble is a short storm form consisting of exactly 100 words.

Hello in a Restaurant

My wife told me to be short when writing. I told her my height doesn’t change.

When I walk in a restaurant, I don’t expect much. But I do like to be greeted. A little eye contact. The word, “Hello.” This should be from the first person who sees me. If even a single employee walks by and gives me the “I pretend not to see you because greeting customers is not my department” then I become irritated.

I understand that employees in a restaurant may be busy. Hell, they may even not be poised at the ready saying, “Tom should be here any minute. Look alive, people!” All it takes is a second to say, “I’ll be right with you.”

Above all else I’m a reasonable guy.

Without eye contact, a greeting and a friendly “I’ll be right with you” I can wait about two minutes before saying (to myself), “Fuck this place!” For every employee who gives me the “not my department” routine you can take a minute from that time.

If greeted, though, I’ll happily wait five minutes or more.

Then there’s this other guy…

My wife and I were in the restaurant, already at a table, enjoying our lunch. A guy walked in. I’m not sure why but he caught my eye. It might have been the way he bellowed.

He strode in, stopped a few feet inside the door, which had just closed behind him. He then waited 1.5 seconds without being helped. No wait staff was in sight. Then he bellowed, “Hello???”

Every head in the restaurant turned. Forks dropped to plates. Everyone was stunned. What the fuck was going on here? It’s rather unusual to yell like that. Something must be up.

A waitress ran from the back. I watched the whole thing go down. I was zoomed in. I had the tunnel vision.

“What are the hours of the haircut place three doors down?” the man demanded. “Their door is locked.”

Ah. I see. You obviously saw our sign that reads, “We help customers from all businesses that are not are own.” Yeah, why don’t you go fuck yourself?

The waitress, who is naturally a nice person, tried to help. “You see, we don’t know about that. That’s like a whole other business. They don’t check in with us. We have no information.”

The guy angrily strode out.

This is the planet I live on. A planet where people like that exist. Then, as we were leaving, the guy came back in for more! I gave him laser beams of death as we fled the building. What an enjoyable meal. Speaking of meal, I would very much like to feast on his soul.

Hey, look. This was less than 500 words.

Day Thirteen #BlogFestivus – The Thirteenth Day of Christmas

festivusThis story is part of BlogFestivus: 12 short stories, 12 days, 12 Days of Christmas. An I.Q. of 12 is also extremely helpful but not required. Oh, the stories have to be exactly 144 words in length, too. You know, that’s 12 times 12. (Use a calculator if you need proof.) The real bitch of this challenge is that you have to incorporate the words from the famous “12 Days of Christmas” song, too. Sick stuff, really. You can find more of these unique stories by clicking this link for a complete list of festive BlogFestivus participants.

The Thirteenth Day of Christmas
by Tom B. Taker

It was Friday.

The others had since gone away, but something compelled him to press on. He entered the decrepit and disused skyscraper and crossed the deserted lobby.
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Day Twelve #BlogFestivus – Hitting the Sweet Spot

festivusThis story is part of BlogFestivus: 12 short stories, 12 days, 12 Days of Christmas. An I.Q. of 12 is also extremely helpful but not required. Oh, the stories have to be exactly 144 words in length, too. You know, that’s 12 times 12. (Use a calculator if you need proof.) The real bitch of this challenge is that you have to incorporate the words from the famous “12 Days of Christmas” song, too. Sick stuff, really. You can find more of these unique stories by clicking this link for a complete list of festive BlogFestivus participants.

Hitting the Sweet Spot
by Tom B. Taker

It wasn’t my fault. I wasn’t the one who precariously balanced the 55-gallon drum at the top of a steep ramp, and in the middle of the workplace, too. But I didn’t do anything about it, either. I was complicit through inaction.
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Day Eleven #BlogFestivus – A Piece of Cake

festivusThis story is part of BlogFestivus: 12 short stories, 12 days, 12 Days of Christmas. An I.Q. of 12 is also extremely helpful but not required. Oh, the stories have to be exactly 144 words in length, too. You know, that’s 12 times 12. (Use a calculator if you need proof.) The real bitch of this challenge is that you have to incorporate the words from the famous “12 Days of Christmas” song, too. Sick stuff, really. You can find more of these unique stories by clicking this link for a complete list of festive BlogFestivus participants.

A Piece of Cake
by Tom B. Taker

Doug “The Wrench” Stromboli had always been an exceptional plumber. As a third generation Stromboli he had naturally taken up the family business, but his secret inner passions had always been elsewhere. No one had ever discovered his prized secret possession: An Easy-Bake oven.
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Day Ten #BlogFestivus – The Book of Tom

festivusThis story is part of BlogFestivus: 12 short stories, 12 days, 12 Days of Christmas. An I.Q. of 12 is also extremely helpful but not required. Oh, the stories have to be exactly 144 words in length, too. You know, that’s 12 times 12. (Use a calculator if you need proof.) The real bitch of this challenge is that you have to incorporate the words from the famous “12 Days of Christmas” song, too. Sick stuff, really. You can find more of these unique stories by clicking this link for a complete list of festive BlogFestivus participants.

The Book of Tom
by Tom B. Taker

Tom was out back catching up on some gardening. He was kneeling by a bush when it suddenly burst into flame.
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Day Nine #BlogFestivus – At the North Pole

festivusThis story is part of BlogFestivus: 12 short stories, 12 days, 12 Days of Christmas. An I.Q. of 12 is also extremely helpful but not required. Oh, the stories have to be exactly 144 words in length, too. You know, that’s 12 times 12. (Use a calculator if you need proof.) The real bitch of this challenge is that you have to incorporate the words from the famous “12 Days of Christmas” song, too. Sick stuff, really. You can find more of these unique stories by clicking this link for a complete list of festive BlogFestivus participants.

At the North Pole
by Tom B. Taker

Everyone knew the girls on the club’s south side near the front door were supposed to be hotter, but Ransoon preferred the dancing on the other side at the North Pole. He was packing so many dollar bills he felt a bit like Santa Claus. This is one time, he thought to himself, it is better to give than receive.
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