How negativity saved my life

Someone talkedThe more that I think about it, the more I think I want to become known as the Guru of Negativity. Heh!

Imagine walking along a path and coming upon a canyon 20 feet across. Can you jump 20 feet? Don’t be too quick to answer. Imagine you’ll only get one chance at it because, if you don’t make it, you fall and die.

Now how sure are you?

Positive thinkers tell us, “You can do anything if you put your mind to it!” and “The word impossible isn’t in my dictionary!”

What if you just can’t jump that far, though? Is positive thinking going to be your friend? No. Only the power of negative thinking will save your life.

Come to the dark side and embrace the power that just might save your life!

15 responses

  1. I’m not positive or negative, I’m logical. I’d take Mr. Positive, and Mr. Negative, and kill them both, rip out their entrails, and use them to make a rope bridge or tight-rope deal to get across the divide.

    Positive and negative are feelings. Being totally devoid of feelings gets you to the other side.

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  2. Wow. I like it. I like it a lot. 🙂

    I’m a big fan of logic, too.

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  3. […] talked in the past about how negativity saved my life.  And you can, […]

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  4. Reblogged this on Shouts from the Abyss and commented:

    Could this be it? The true origins of the Guru? Only my hairdresser knows for sure.

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    1. Negative thinking has saved my life many times. Every time I think that misguided positive thinking will carry me through, I get a good dose of negative thinking and a nice slap of reality to bring me back to my senses. And just for the record, I could easily jump 20 feet over a canyon because I play a great deal of GTA on xBox. Xbox has prepared me for real life, can you say the same?

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      1. Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Canyon jumping? Clever.

        I read an article that advised me to wait on the Xbox One and the PS4. I’m therefore buying both the day they come out. I’ll be playing a lot of Catch Up.

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  5. I don’t think many people do enough thinking at all to be classified as positive or negative.

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    1. Let us call them Defaulters.

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  6. I for one, find your negativity very refreshing. I think you should write a book to counteract all the positive shlock that’s already out there. Then you can become a real life guru and have Negativity Retreats!
    =)

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    1. “Hello, everyone and welcome to the first ever Negativity Retreat. Before we begin, I’m afraid I have a bit of bad news. You’ve all be ripped off. Ha ha ha ha! Ahem. Okay, now let us begin. Roll the crap.”

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      1. It’s gonna be GREAT.

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  7. I’ve just realized my previous comment was inappropriately positive. Let me remedy that by saying that a Negativity Retreat would in reality, probably suck. As do retreats in general.
    Although I was thinking of the fun you could have with the trust building exercise where people fall backward into someone’s arms. 😉 “You see? Sometimes they’re just not going to catch you.”

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    1. With any luck it would be the worst retreat of all time. We can hope, right? 🙂

      I love the falling backwards exercise. If you live you end up being much smarter.

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  8. Logical and Negativity come hand to hand sometimes because sometimes you just have to put your foot down and say no. Like I’m not going out with you guys tonight because Damien drives drunk and recklessly. People are like you’re such a drag, fine be that way. Few hours later they get in a car wreck. End of Story.

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    1. Exactly. I wish I had a merit badge for your comment. You earned it. But I was in a bad mood on badge ordering day. Sorry!

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Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

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