Can’t call in sick scenarios

Sick dayvector: an organism (as an insect) that transmits a pathogen

My boss is what you might call a bit of a germ freak. He’s continually afraid of catching a cold, the flu or some other contagious illness, so he has anti-bacterial wipes to clean surfaces he comes into contact with and he washes his hands after using our workstations.

He even went so far as to hold a staff a meeting with all of us about the importance of certain things, like sneezing into our elbows and not touching our noses and eyes. He also wants us to call in sick if we think we might be coming down with something contagious. Based on the image at the top-left of this post, the CDC seems to agree.

Aye, there’s the rub.

You see, he doesn’t offer paid sick days and he doesn’t provide health insurance. That puts the whammy on my wallet if I wish to protect the health of other people. (And vice versa.) I guess it shouldn’t be too much of a shock that I haven’t called in sick once during the last five years. I’m here, at my desk, plugging away, snotbubbles or no.

It seems to me that this is somewhat illogical and is contrary to the desired outcome. I like to call it a reverse-incentive. I make the most money by sucking it up and bringing my illness to work. And I save more money by not going to the doctor to find out what the hell I’ve got.

I have a friend who works in the health care industry. The company she works at has government mandated deadlines for work being processed. If they don’t meet those deadlines they can be determined to be out of compliance and then the company is really screwed. In other words, the work has to be done. Period. No exceptions. There is no tomorrow.

So what do they do? Fun bullshit like allowing two employees in a four-person department to take the same day off. The amount of work left is just enough for two people working their asses off for about 14 hours a day … each.

I call this arrangement the “can’t call in sick scenario.” The company has arranged things so that if just one of the remaining employees calls in sick, more work than one human can possibly handle remains and the company goes out of compliance. It is one hell of a way to run a railroad, but what can you do when the geniuses in charge decide to run their outfit this way?

Yet more human vectors coming into work and spreading what they’ve got … no matter how sick they are.

If I try to make sense of shit like this I only end up hurting myself from shaking my head, and then I need a doctor!

3 responses

  1. Weasel! Stay home if you’re sick, I’ll just flog the remainder to work harder while I don’t pay you.


  2. If I stayed home sick I wouldn’t be doing my job as a vector now, would I?

    vector: an organism (as an insect) that transmits a pathogen


  3. […] For more reading see Can’t call in sick scenarios. […]


Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

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