Get me some snake oil, stat!

For every positive there is a negative and that negative is me

Feeling weak … can’t go on … may have to let go … lost my pep and vigor … only snake oil can help me now …

Suddenly it is all explained, thanks to my friend Kate. She just wrote that she was feeling positive, and that caught my eye. I was like, “What the fuck is up with that?”

Turns out that today is “Positive Day.” Ugh. Positive Day is to the Abyss as Kryptonite is to Superman. This is the day when I lose all of my guru powers.

There is a special place in the Abyss called The Hole. I must crawl there immediately and recharge.

Please know that I’ll do my best to give up even while hope still lives. Be advised, however, there is still a chance I might make it. Please pray to give me weakness.

You have been warned.

11 responses

  1. Positive Day? Really? Truly? Thanks for letting me know – now I have reason to spread my cheer! 😉


    1. Curses! It backfired!!! 🙂


  2. Um, if I tell you I hate you and everyone on the planet and I hope you all die dismal, painful deaths, will that make it better?


    1. Oh no! Your comment is positively affecting me. I feel strength returning to my limbs. Breathing comes easier. Dammit. 🙂


  3. Positive Day? Boo. What’s the point? We should have Realistic Day when we are real with ourselves and start sharing their uppers. I have to admit, I’ve been in some mood today… told my friend she had a reindeer up her butt… I love Ouiser Boudreaux.


    1. Right on!

      /fist bump

      A reindeer up the butt is a very clever way to put it. I never get invited to any of the reindeer games.


  4. seriously? who the hell wants to be positive? that’s no fun. i’m with you…go back to being weak. we like you better that way.


    1. Heh! Thanks! Perhaps you’d also be interested in hearing about how negativity saved my life? Dammit.


  5. “Positive Day”? Damn, I wish I’d known. I could have told that to the old dude who shuffled up to my pharmacy pick-up window this afternoon and yelled “THIS PLACE SUCKS!” I smirked, but in my heart of hearts, totally (and silently) agreed with him.


    1. I love that story. “This place sucks.” That move can’t be pulled off by just anyone. That takes a special breed!

      I once turned in my prescription, told the girl I’d be waiting, then waited about two hours before I finally got in the pickup line only to find out that it had been ready for almost two hours. I was like, “Why didn’t you tell me?” She just shrugged.

      I didn’t yell “this place sucks” but I should have. I did kick their door on the way out. 🙂

      Welcome to the abyss. By the way, your artwork rocks! So cool. Thanks for stopping by to comment. 🙂


  6. Yep. Pharmacy is a wellspring of weird and startling stories. This guy was ancient, wearing a stained t-shirt and khakis. His dentures might have been askew, because he actually said “thucks”, instead of “sucks”. I had to keep my cool, since I work for *a branch of the Federal Govt. that shall remain nameless* heh heh. We’re usually pretty fast, service-wise, but not fast enough for some. Ah, well. Hey! Thanks for the props on my artwork. Glad you liked it. Keep up the good work. You’re on my blogroll now. Be very afraid.


Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

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