Feeling weak … can’t go on … may have to let go … lost my pep and vigor … only snake oil can help me now …
Suddenly it is all explained, thanks to my friend Kate. She just wrote that she was feeling positive, and that caught my eye. I was like, “What the fuck is up with that?”
Turns out that today is “Positive Day.” Ugh. Positive Day is to the Abyss as Kryptonite is to Superman. This is the day when I lose all of my guru powers.
There is a special place in the Abyss called The Hole. I must crawl there immediately and recharge.
Please know that I’ll do my best to give up even while hope still lives. Be advised, however, there is still a chance I might make it. Please pray to give me weakness.
You have been warned.