Top Ten things I’ll do if I win the lotto

Did Dave Letterman rip me off? You be the judge! Below, you’ll find my top ten list that I wrote way back in 1997. You’ll find Dave’s top ten list next to it – note that his list occurred about six months later! Coincidence? I think not! πŸ™‚

Tom B. Taker
Sep/Oct 1997

Top Ten Things I’ll Do If I Win The Lotto
David Letterman
May 20, 1998

Top Ten Things Dumb Guys Would Do with $175 Million
10. Have all of my vital organs replaced with newer, fresher ones. 10. Buy 175 million more Powerball tickets.
9. Fund a lobby to outlaw gambling. 9. Buy 700,000 vowels on the “Wheel of Fortune.”
8. Quit job. Waste money. Beg for old job. 8. Buy something from the 99 cents store and tell the salesman to keep the change.
7. Invest all winnings in tamagotchi technology. 7. Pay part of Bill and Hillary’s legal bills.
6. Wallpaper my home with thousand-dollar bills. 6. Write book How I Won $175 Million and Why My ATM Code is 4968.
5. Bribe I.R.S. official. 5. Bet the whole wad on the Indiana Pacers.
4. Run three-minute ad campaign during Super Bowl promoting my web site. 4. Rent 175 million tapes from Blockbuster, then return them a day late.
3. Buy Microsoft stock. 3. Call the zoo and say, “How much for one a ‘them Godzillies?”
2. Hire creative team to rewrite my mission statement. 2. Put it all in CBS stock.
1. Get 47 million more lotto tickets! 1. Eat it.

11 responses

  1. Ha! You are too silly. And before you ask, go read Nadia’s post and you’ll know easily. BTW, I can’t subscribe to your blog easily for some reason. Can’t find the link on the left to do so. I like the new digs though.

    πŸ˜‰

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    1. Ah. 1997. Now we have proof I’ve been “silly” a long time. πŸ™‚

      Which post by Nadia are you talking about? Can you link me?

      I added the Subscribe button. Thanks for the idea!

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      1. I don’t know how to link you — Nadia’s latest blog on “her” home page (you’re so making this harder, but I’m giggling something fierce). Do as she says and all shall be clear (I hope!). nadiachyme.wordpress.com

        πŸ˜‰

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  2. *Laughing like a dumbass in front of my computer screen*

    I think your list is better than Letterman’s. I mean, come on, papering your walls with thousand-dollar bills? That’s class, man.

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    1. Yeah, well, I’m nothing if not classy. [mmph] I just threw up in my mouth a little. πŸ™‚

      And you quoted one of my favorite lines. Thanks for the comment!

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  3. OK, Carmen. I think I grok. Nice to have you here! πŸ™‚

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    1. I had to look up “grok”..but I got it. Well, I’m happy to be here – but I’ve been here many times before… many hugs! I completely enjoy your bloggy-ness! Happy Sunday!

      Like

  4. That’s enough. I’m driving to New York to settle this. Want me to pick you up on the way?

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    1. I’d go but I’m scared that Paul Shaffer might mop the floor with me. πŸ™‚

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  5. […] of here, Mama Compensation, is even less likely than getting a better job. Dammit. Of course even winning the lotto has higher odds than getting a better job. Scientifically speaking, getting raped by Hitler […]

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  6. Reblogged this on Shouts from the Abyss and commented:

    I had to hit “random post” many times to find this. I hope it was worth the effort. I gotta admit that “Godzillies” is a nice word.

    Like

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