Aisle Hurl 4 You

Look what showed up on the Apple App Store tonight. It’s called Wedding Dash 4-Ever and it’s only $6.99!

Is there a Temptation Island mode? A plastic surgery center? A weight-loss challenge before the pre-nuptials are signed?

Your goal is to help Quinn, the “fabulous” wedding planner, handle all of the wedding “mania” and avoid disasters like Bridezilla, Groom Kong and a Food Fight. But wait, there’s also “fun conga lines.”

Hell, I’d be willing to pay another $20 for the Divorce Attorney expansion pack.

I wonder if I can drag and drop the Recycle Bin icon onto the game? I’m going to need someplace to hurl.

The app is billed as a “time management game.” Sounds like a pretty accurate description of marriage, too!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to the desktop version of Hang Time!

7 responses

  1. You’re being a little harsh. Of the various time management games I play, that is the most romantic.

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    1. But you are a gentleman and a scholar…

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    2. Don’t get me wrong. Being married and being in love (with the same woman, mind you) is the bomb.

      It is our obsession with the wedding itself that I find troublesome.

      Let me check into the Apple App Store and find out how I can gift you the game. 🙂

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  2. I cannot look at that screen shot without my lip curling. That’s just…gross. And we wonder why people can’t get this country going in the right direction? They’re doing THIS.

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    1. Just how many reality TV shows do we have these days that deal with weddings? I say we need to return to more traditional gaming values. Bring back the first person shooter and all the blood and gore! Now that’s wholesome fun I can support.

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      1. Apart from actual ARCADES where you walked in, put a quarter in the machine, balanced your cigarette on the dash and played? That’s the only gaming I know. When people started getting home games, well…that wasn’t in my lifestyle. So, as they got better, I never leapt in…Not counting Qrank 🙂

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  3. See? Gaming gets you one way or another. Thankfully I have silenced all the requests for mob hits on my Facebook account. Apparently all of my friends are extremely violent thugs.

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Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

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