It’s alright – I’m a blogger!

Group Shot

Heart Attack Grill in Chandler, AZ

It’s amazing how fast a crowd can form.

One moment the restaurant hustle and bustle was completely normal, then there was a wild shriek and everything went completely to hell.

A man had collapsed to the floor and a crowd formed around him instantly.

I leaped to my feet and pushed my way through the throng. “Excuse me! Make way, make way!” I said authoritatively. “Come on,” I extolled, “let me pass!

Breaking through, I saw that no one was even helping the man yet. Jesus Christ, I thought. This is gonna be grizzly.

I moved to get in closer but hands reached out and stopped me.

“It’s alright,” I said. “I’m a blogger!”

As the man lay there choking, I snapped off a few shots with my camera (always at the ready) and jotted down some notes in my handy little book. This is going to make an awesome post, I told myself.

Then some damn doctor showed up to help the man. Shit, I lamented, there goes the story. But it turned out it was a only a false alarm. The man had merely seen the menu and was reacting to the prices. Quite understandable, really.

Luckily I didn’t fall for it. What a lame post that would have been. Good thing I was able to avoid it.

12 responses

  1. Unabridged Girl | Reply

    Hahahahah! Nice one!

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    1. Exactly! Isn’t that the truth?? 🙂

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  2. Did you see the Dateline segment on Heart Attack Grill? Their original spokesman was almost 600 pounds when he died and instead of trying to change the message they’re sending out there or make the menu somehwat healthier, they just hired another fat guy, luring him with the promise of free burgers.

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    1. Really? Seriously, though, what a way to go. I didn’t make “eat my weight in cow” a resolution – this year.

      I’ll have to keep that on the short list for 2012. From what I understand, by the end of the year, things like body weight will be irrelevant anyway.

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  3. Is it wrong that part of me wanted the ‘doctor’ in this story to be a PhD or a chiropractor, and the helpless man to say, “No, I’m better of with the blogger.” Well if it is, I don’t want to be right.

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    1. You’re right, of course. I missed a huge opportunity there to ramp up the snarkiness, dammit. Are you available for consultations? 🙂

      Your way would have been hella funny!

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      1. Oh.. there’s an idea. Wonder if there’s a market for “Need snark? Consultations with a pissy attitude” services? 😉

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  4. Damn Doctors with their “life saving” and “cpr”. They dont know what it is like to put out quality stuff

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    1. Nope. They sure don’t! A little something I have in common with them. 🙂

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  5. […] blog therefore read other blogs. May even RT some […]

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Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

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