Hyppo and Critter: Refurbished Christmas Bonus

4 responses

  1. You managed the trifecta of holiday cheer! A comic that features Christmas, sleaze and cheap all in one. ๐Ÿ™‚

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    1. You are perceptive. A Christmas bonus is a nice gesture and is NOT expected. In fact, at my wife’s job they’ve already announced there will be no bonuses and they should also consider themselves lucky to have jobs. To celebrate holiday cheer, there will be a potluck dinner held during the work day.

      Wow. Can you feel it? It’s almost as if Jesus himself was back in town.

      However, if a boss does decide to do the bonus thing, I think a few basic rules of decorum should apply:

      * If it’s a fruitcake, don’t lick all over it and/or pick out your favorite bits
      * If it’s a bottle of liquor, don’t open it and swig about half from the bottle (the gift of backwash)
      * If it’s gum, do not pre-chew
      * If it’s sausage, do not test it to pleasure yourself
      * Can you believe it? I found this at the recycling center and it still works!

      You know, a few basic rules. A gift is supposed to be about the “thought.” A gift from a boss to an employee is called a “bonus” and is supposed to denote appreciation for the work performed by the employee during the previous year.

      Gifts like the above do not denote “appreciation.” They are actually grave insults and a form of total disrespect. They scream, “I want you to think I care but my wants and needs come first. You’re supposed to think I appreciate the work you do but actually I just want to reinforce your position on the food chain. You know, that’s the same reason why your office chair is located directly under my seat in the company outhouse. So you can feel appreciated all year long.”

      Some people are so socially damaged they are incapable of understanding mundane and average mores and norms that most civilized persons follow as a matter of routine.

      You want to give me a “refurbished” gift? Guess what? I actually hate you more now than before the so-called “bonus.” And your act of assholiness gives me a great idea. In the future, all the work I perform for you will also be “refurbished.” That will help keep things on an even keel. Enjoy what you’ve reaped, you motherfucking fucknut.

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      1. *sigh* If only you ruled the world. And this comment? Almost a post in and of itself. You not only rock my world, you rule it, too. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  2. This comic is just the teaser. A bit of foreshadowing, as it were. The actual post I estimate will be about 20,000 words. Or two-fifths of a novel. It’s “coming soon.”

    Thanks for grokking my existentialism.

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Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

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