Termination Tuesday – The Sweet 16 – Week 8

Last week, in what many commentators properly called The Inane Battle of the Same, Food Poisoning slowly dissolved Mushroom (eat) in a vat of acid. It was fun to watch and truly a sight to behold.

This week, thefinale of The Sweet 16, it’s the battle of the Freak Show methods of death.

We hope you’ll agree that we saved the best for last. And, in a weird twist of fate, Termination Tuesday falls on Valentine’s Day. I’d so much like to take credit for that and say it was by grand design, but the truth is much more mundane. We’re just not that clever.

So, it’s up to you. Who will be the final contestant to moonwalk into third round action and who will decompose into the sunset?

In one corner is Crushed (hoarding) ready to extend the winning streak that got it this far in the competition. Style counts in this tournament and being buried alive by the stupid shit you collected is definitely a stylish way to go.

Human Dartboard is not ready to be counted out, though. What it lacks in style it more than makes up for with it’s brash in-your-face attitude.

This is it. It’s time to pick number eight. The gloves are off. And you get to vote. In fact, you have to vote, or this shit will never end. Perhaps Slow Death by Stupid Bullshit will be a contestant in next year’s contest. Until then, you get to live it vicariously through this competition. Enjoy!

10 responses

  1. tough one when it’s getting closer but it’s gotta be the human dartboard for me. Being punctured to death by darts will take time and not knowing where that dart will hit will hurt more (well probably not) than the actual hit itself. This is a long and gruesome one, me like it a lot…:)


    1. I just hope it’s a “new dart” that takes me out. (Say that a few times.)


  2. I went with crushed because I have a slight problem with claustrophobia. Just the thought of this type of death is making me get slightly breathy. The Mister is mistaking this for passion…seeing as it’s Valentine’s Day and all. He’ll be in for a surprise if he comes to give me a hug.

    Thanks for helping make my VD so constricting. 🙂


    1. I’m just crushed about this. And so can you!

      And, this might be TMI, but your VD is very important to me. Make it a good one! 🙂


  3. I would be appalled to be found under a pile of my own pointless collection of crap. Tell me, does the human dartboard spin around like at the circus? Because then I would throw-up in public and I’d be so embarrassed that I’d want to die… oh wait…


    1. I see what you did there. You took the idea and kicked it up a notch. That’s a bulls-eye, I’d say!


  4. Oh, I had to go with crushed due to hoarding.. because the actual method of expiration would vary so greatly, depending on what you’re into collecting.

    Especially if you’re an animal hoarder.

    Then there’s the whole eaten-by-your-own-domesticated-animals thing, plus the possiblity of inhaling large amounts of noxious gasses due to the excess poop and urine animals leave behind.

    The possibilities are endless!


    1. Great insights. I think I’ll start hoarding feathers, since I’d rather get crushed by a ton of them rather than a ton of bricks!


  5. Slow death by stupid BS. Doesn’t that describe your work day? My vote made it a tie. That’s all I’m saying.


    1. You’re right, of course. So many ways to have the same fun! 🙂


Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

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