Top 10 Songs about Hell

Saturday the Pope said that “technology without God is dangerous.” As an atheist I tend towards a different view. Maybe we could strive for something else, like being nice to each other and having real morals and values? It would be nice to try something different.

And, for the record, when I’m burned at the steak, please slather me with Bullseye BBQ sauce so I can be extra delicious. No burial or cremation for me, please. I’d like Bobby Flay to oversee the ceremonies, too.

Today’s post has to be a quick one. I’m going out to photograph the annual tradition of the Easter Egg Hunt. I’m hoping to catch some asshole parents in their natural habitat. “I don’t care who has to die.My kid is getting an egg. You got that, fucker? Oh yeah, praise Jesus!”

I’m hoping to get some excellent shots of pure evil in action. Please Lord, help my aim be true and my camera be steady.

Central Georgia Easter egg hunt canceled amid concerns about violent parents in past years

MACON, Ga. — An annual Easter egg hunt in central Georgia has been canceled after organizers say parents became violent while trying to collect eggs for themselves and their children in past years.

This will be the first time in years that the Easter Bunny won’t be visiting children during the annual egg hunt at Central City Park in Macon, traditionally one of the largest Easter events in central Georgia.

And…

Parents too agressive for Easter egg hunt
Monday, March 26, 2012

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo.  — An annual Easter egg hunt attended by hundreds of children has been canceled because of misbehavior last year. Not by the kids, but by the grown-ups.

Too many parents determined to see their children get an egg jumped a rope marking the boundaries of the children-only hunt at Bancroft Park last year. The hunt was over in seconds, to the consternation of eggless tots and the rules-abiding parents.

Organizers say the hunt in Old Colorado City has gotten too big for the hundreds of children and parents now attending. They canceled this year.

Enough!!! Bring on the tunes!

3. Highway to Hell / Hells Bells – ACDC

These don’t rank as high as you might think, but ACDC was doing songs about Hell before songs about Hell were cool. They were trendsetters. For bonus points, the “Highway to Hell” video was preceded by a Mormon commercial pumping their belief in Jesus Christ. Clever demographics in action there.

“Hells Bells” will always remind me of Trevor Hoffman.

2. Hell – Squirrel Nut Zippers

In the afterlife you just might be headed for some serious strife. This song puts the fun back in Hell.

1. Lake of Fire – Nirvana

I have to admit. I like the idea of a place where the “bad people” go when they die. I don’t hold out much hope that will actually happen, though.

I did consider Hotel California for this list as #1 because I always assumed that song was about Hell. Apparently, though, after a bit of research it’s about American materialism and such. Another lovely flavor of Hell but not quite was I was looking for.

What? You were expecting more? Like ten songs on the top ten list? Too bad. Suffer. I guess you have your own version of Hell to deal with now.

4 responses

  1. Oh.My.Gawd…

    I love the Squirrel Nut Zippers!!

    Also, I kinda prefer Sweet Baby Rays BBQ sauce- tangy & sweet at the same time, but I don’t think they burn people at the stake anymore, do they?

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    1. That has got to be the funnest Hell song of all time! 🙂

      To be honest, completely setting me aflame would probably spoil the BBQ. Something like a slow-roasting spit would probably be more in order.

      I’ve been planning my death party and, I hope this isn’t too much to ask, I’d like you to be in charge of the BBQ sauce. I’d be honored to be slathered by you. FTW!

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      1. I think I feel a little verklempt! I would be honored to slather you. Sweet Baby Rays sauce it is! FTW indeeeeeed.

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  2. The way I’ve currently got the Death Party structured, BBQ Sauce Slatherer is the very most position of all. In different contexts they might be refered to as the Emcee or Master of Ceremonies. So you got that going for you. The Slatherer also gets the Mystery Envelope that is to be opened only upon news of my death.

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Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

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