Slowly I became aware that I must be awake. It was a very gradual thing. Once consciousness was certain I resolved to seek more information. With herculean effort I pushed with all my might and rolled my body over. Glowing red numbers swam in front of my eyes until they finally resolved into something readable.
I moaned in dispair.
Top Ten Things To Do At 3:14 a.m.
10. Hang a-round
9. Make pie charts
8. Sort penny collection by cut, color and clarity
7. Imagine you’re funnier that you really are
6. Finally check out that Farmville thing
5. Stealthily record audio of snoring spouse
4. Google Image Search the word “pi” and marvel at the number of pie images (get it?)
3. Fantasize about Tequila but don’t have the guts
2. Speculate about origins of crashing noises outside my window
1. Eat real pie