Monday Magic

week-graphI recently had a deep thought.

Life is lived one week at a time.
–Tom B. Taker

Let’s take a look at a typical week then, shall we? We’ll use my patented Poop Colored Glasses with Capitalism Tint.

In other words, this look is founded on a work-based viewpoint.

A lot of work-based people tend to favor Friday. They have it up on some kind of pedestal. Well, not me! Why? Because Friday is the work day closest to Monday. And it’s still a day where you actually go to work. Sorry, Friday. That puts you squarely in the Shit bin.

“Holy Time” is my description of the time between Friday at 5pm and midnight. Seven golden hours of goodness. This section of time is the most removed from going back to work. Unfortunately it’s also the smallest damn piece of the whole friggin’ pie.

Saturday is a pretty good day. It’s preceded by Holy Time, which is good, and to its credit, is also followed by a day that is not work. Therefore this day is “Good.” That’s high praise from the likes of me.

Sunday is a bit of a quandary. Since it is followed by a work day, it’s a very melancholy time. Yeah, it’s not as bad as work, but it is being chased by an ominous black cloud of death. Technically speaking, Sunday is a day tainted by evil. But it’s still not work. So this day we will classify as Tainted and/or Mediocre.

This graph is actually incomplete. It’s missing the slice that consists of the last two hours before bed on a Sunday night. This slice, if it had been shown, would have been represented with the terminology “Despair.” Technically it’s know worse than any work night yet is somehow amplified by the freedom that was just tasted.

The rest of the 168 hours in the life unit known as the “week” fall into a bucket known simply as Shit. This is, by far, the biggest piece of the life of pie. And I think that pretty much sums it up.

8 responses

  1. Love the holy time. It is the most purely good time available to us in the week cycle.

    once had an assignment that was so awful I got ill during the Sunday evening despair period every Sunday for 10 months. On the plus side, i didn’t gain any weight.

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    1. I feel your pain and I’m pleased that you grok this data. I’d like to buy you a piece of pie!

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  2. Holy Time on the Friday before a week of vacation must be almost indescribable. 🙂

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    1. Yea, euphoric! Orgasmic maybe! You need that in the pie chart. Orgasmic!

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      1. Oh, yes. I think of everything. There is an “Orgasmic” slice in that pie but it just happens to be too small to be seen with the “naked” eye. 🙂

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    2. I wouldn’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced that. Alien thought, really. But thanks for teasing me with the notion!

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  3. Fridays are one of my least favorite days of the week.

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    1. On behalf of all work logicians thank you for not propping up Friday on a pedestal.

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Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

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