The hot new trend on this blog is to scritch up a piece of yesteryear and drag it back into the light of day. Today’s bit of regurgitated kibble comes courtesy of the Abyss “way back” archives. In fact, this was the seventh post I ever wrote. It comes back to the empty nest all the way from September 2009, also known as Abyss Launch Month.
Back then I documented my efforts (in vain) to get away from crappy e-commerce job #2. I was out schlepping around and subjecting myself to the ultimate in extreme humiliation: Going into a place of business and asking for an application form like Oliver groveling for a little extra gruel. And then filling out their endless invasive and offensive forms until your hand shrivels up into a hook hand. A hook hand!!!
Then, of course, they say, “Well, we can’t give the job to you. You’ve got a hook hand! We need someone a little more able bodied.”
Well played, assholes. You found a way to kick me when I was down even without offering me a job. I bow to the masters.
The only thing worse than having a job is looking for one.
–Kids In The Hall, Mama Compensation
I’m filled with pride to report that the boycott documented in the post below lives on to this very day. I drive by their empty parking lot daily and reward myself with a hearty belly laugh. I see them out in the community trying creative techniques to keep their business afloat. I say, “Fuck ’em!”
Without further ado I bring you the tale of the time I went looking for a job, an experience that left me with little to say, except: