This is Anderson Catter interrupting your regularly scheduled bile to bring you this breaking CNN (Cat News Network) exclusive. We have been receiving reports of disturbing and unprecedented activities taking place across the household realm.
We go now live to Kitty Amanapurr on scene with this breaking report…
Thank you, Anderson. I am currently located on a bookcase shelf in the kitchen where formerly many cookbooks were kept. That all changed this weekend shortly after boxes were reportedly seen in the vicinity.
Initial eyewitnesses reported an influx of a large number of boxes. Box sightings are not that uncommon but this event was on a scale never before encountered. It seemed harmless and fun at first, as we investigated by sniffing all boxes and putting them to every test conceivable.
But then things took an ominous turn when the humans literally began ripping things out of the walls and putting them in the boxes, including the very shelf where I’ve set up camp. Every single room has been affected, too.
This reporter has seen many things during her four years on assignment but nothing ever approaching this scale. It’s completely unprecedented. The reasons for the activity are currently not understood and our best experts have not been able to come up with a motive.
I will remain here, no matter the danger to myself, bringing you more information as the situation develops. Back to you, Anderson.
Thank you, Kitty. These are strange days indeed. Hopefully the situation will resolve itself soon because I don’t have to tell you I’m feeling very agitated about this. It’s really got my dander up! CNN’s exclusive coverage of Boxing Days Crisis will continue after these messages from our sponsors. Meow, meow, meow, meow. Ask for it by name!