Abandonment Issues

It’s five minutes after my publishing deadline. I just abandoned the blog post I spent the whole day handcrafting as completely unacceptable. This is not good. Here in the Abyss we call this type of scenario Situation Normal.

Please pardon me while I vamp for a few minutes…

Things don’t always work out like we hope or think they should. Ya think?

This morning I encountered a particularly insidious form of online racism. It got to me so I decided to blog about it. My goal was to employ my usual deftness, sensitivity, style and grace while still getting across the raw sense of anger that consumed every fiber of my being like schools of cellular-sized piranhas in my bloodstream.

See? There I go again. Why do I always have to oversell my feelings? It’s almost as if my feelings matter. Let us not play games. We all know they don’t.

I was generally happy with the opening I had written. I even asked my wife to review it and she had high praise. “It’s not quite as bad as your usual garbage,” she quipped.

Wow. Things were looking up! Or so I thought.

Then it came time to actually say something. You know, the point of the whole exercise. KABOOM! That’s where the post jumped the shark, took a turn for the worse and shot off the rails. With extreme prejudice.

Thus, this post is not about racism. Not at all. I’ll have to leave that intellectual exploration to the successful version of me in the mirror universe. (It’s theoretically possible, I suppose.) Instead, let us change gears and talk about failure.

The number of posts I’ve abandoned exceeds what I’ve published. If that’s not true failure I don’t know what is.

At least there’s one thing I’m good at.

9 responses

  1. What?? No, no, this post has to make a comeback.


    1. I’ll try.

      White people are crying reverse racism on Facebook and citing the Trayvon Martin case as an some sort of proof of this position. In my opinion, the people who normally float this argument are Nazis, skinheads, members of Aryan Nation, et al.

      The argument forwarded around by my “friend” on Facebook was that the media made a lot of out the Trayvon Martin case but wouldn’t have done so if he was white. To support this an instance is cited where a black person killed a white person but didn’t get attention by the media and/or comment by President Obama. In this case the killer was arrested and convicted of murder, but the death penalty was not sought.


      The killer of Travyon Martin, a black person, was only arrested after much public fervor and eventually found not guilty.

      In the cited example on Facebook a black killer of a white person is arrested and found guilty and resides in jail.

      And they cite this as an example of reverse racism? That’s pretty sick and why I got so angry. I’ll never think of this “friend” the same way again.


  2. Wow. Words fail me. As they did you, apparently. And yet, here you are, at the end of the day and what do I see? A post.

    Cats come back. They always come back.


    1. This is one of those times where I abandon the original plan and just stream some consciousness for a bit. I never make promises that it’ll work out.


  3. Know this feeling. Well not the racism feeling but the not publishing feeling.


    1. History wasn’t my favorite subject when I was younger. Even so, I’ve always had little patience for racism, even if I was a tad idealistic about my country. The more that I learn, though, the more I feel like the United States still has a long, long way to go.


  4. Alas, in creative endeavours, no matter how many botched attempts there have been, one completed effort makes the whole sordid enterprise a success.
    You Sir, are a winner.

    (You have my sympathies.)


    1. Lots of winners love to brag about the number of mistakes they’ve had. Me? I was more than satisfied when I won the participant ribbon. 🙂

      Thanks for the nice comment.


Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

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