As a nexus of negativity, this blog has, above all else, an unbreakable commitment to truth and fact. Hell, that’s all you need to be a true negativist!
In that spirit (heh) I now say this:
At least one gimlet was harmed during the creation of this post.
Yes, courtesy of my wife’s desire to imbibe during the early-to-mid early afternoon and pouring the wrong spirits, I got to consume the “mistake.” Ha ha ha!
Let it be known she was making palomas but grabbed the vodka instead of the tequila. Oops! That’s when my solitary superpower kicked in and I saved the day!
Thinking on my feet I handed her the tequila and salvaged the vodka, adding only a dash of Rose’s Lime Juice.
Viola! A gimlet was born! (Then immediately consumed.) And a little something extra I call Afternoon Delight. (That’s code for an ulcer flare-up.)
Make the jump for a few more grimly gimlet details…
Dare you ask, “What is a gimlet?” Knave! I toss the contents of my empty glass in your general direction.
A gimlet is an alcoholic beverage (cocktail) comprised of vodka and lime juice. Some blokes believe that gin can also be used, generally uttering some phrase like “shaken not stirred.” In those instances toss the beverage in the tosser’s face.
An old-fashioned glass (also referred to as a lowball glass) is critical. To demonstrate the wrong way to do it I’m currently using an overfilled highball glass.
The other day I had vodka but no Rose’s Lime Juice. Thus, obviously, mayhem ensued.
I had the thought to improvise. They say necessity is a mother. I thought, hey, I can use fresh limes in my gimlet and/or make my own Rose’s Lime Juice.
I discovered a recipe on Food.com, a website I really like. It used to be called Recipezaar.com until it was gobbled up. There I found a woman saying that Rose’s Lime Juice and offering up a homemade version. Perfect!
The recipe called for 24 limes and cup of sugar. It yields one cup (or eight ounces).
“Wait a moment,” I shouted with an English accent as I grabbed my calculator.
I don’t know about the price of limes in your neck of the woods but they are $.79 each at Whole Foods Market. I did some quick calculating.
Assuming limes are 79 cents each the homemade juice would be about $2.43 per ounce. If I’m gracious and assume “two limes for a dollar” the cost drops to $1.56 per ounce. And, just for giggles, I assumed a glut of limes and four for a dollar. That dropped the price to 81 cents per house.
Meanwhile my wife picked me up a 25-ounce bottle (what an odd size!) of Rose’s Lime Juice for less than $5. That makes the cost 20 cents per ounce or less. And I don’t have to invest a cup of sugar, heat from my oven, or my precious time, either!
Clearly Rose’s Lime Juice is the win-win in value and sitting on my ass!
Lauchlan Rose patented the method used to preserve citrus juice without alcohol in 1867. The Merchant Shipping Act of that same year required all ships of the Royal Navy and Merchant Navy to provide a daily lime ration to sailors to prevent scurvy. The product became nearly ubiquitous, hence the term “limey” for British sailors. The brand was introduced to the United States in 1901.
Source: Wikipedia – Rose’s Lime Juice
Now that we got the juice, what is a gimlet?
The word “gimlet” used in this sense is first attested in 1928. The most obvious derivation is from the tool for drilling small holes, whose name is also used figuratively to describe something as sharp or piercing. Thus, the cocktail may have been named for its “penetrating” effects on the drinker. Another theory is that the drink was named after British Royal Navy Surgeon Rear-Admiral Sir Thomas Gimlette KCB (served 1879 to 1913), who allegedly introduced this drink as a means of inducing his messmates to take lime juice as an anti-scurvy medication. (Limes and other citrus fruit have been used by the Royal Navy for the prevention of scurvy since the mid-18th century.)
Source: Wikipedia – Gimlet (cocktail)
In my world it is four parts of vodka to one part Rose’s Lime Juice. Some people say it can be made with gin. I may try this sometime, but only in the name of science. Some people say you can use straight lime juice and some powdered sugar.
For the essay part of this post, use the comments section below to describe your favorite way to gimlet each other.
Today I propose a toast to the magnificent gimlet. Most of my greatest accomplishments in life were achieved under its tender mercies.