My DVD disc is too controlling

This Sunday Regurgitation is in honor of the DVD of season six of “How I Met Your Mother.” No matter how much I cleaned the bloody thing it wouldn’t play. Never underestimate The Booger of the Anonymous Asshole. I’m currently on Craigslist surfing through the “nude models wanted” posts looking for a used blowtorch. (I don’t want to pay top dollar.) I figure I only need one of them to caramelize both of my eyeballs.

Shouts from the Abyss

Operation is currently prohibited by disc.

Excuse me? How many products do you know that tell you, “Sorry. You can’t use me that way.”

It’s annoying. You have to sit through a bunch of crap on a DVD before the disc will decide it’s time to allow you access to the menu. “I now deem you worthy. You have done my bidding. You may access the menu at will.” Gee, thanks. That’s very gracious of you, especially since I own your ass!

At last! The menu! I’ve heard about you. You are the gatekeeper to the actual content on the DVD that I originally wanted. Not all that other stuff I was forced to watch against my will. “Oh great menu! I will now select Play Movie and just maybe you’ll let me finally watch. Thank you, oh thank you!”

A few minutes into the movie, though, suddenly – a…

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Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

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