Widget Roundup

unsafe_productsHyper Transit Widget Spheroid Solids was a corporation operating in the great state of [withheld] that produced hyperbolic-related widgets. There was a certain segment of our population (dorks) that was thirsty for these widgets and the company did well.

The product was theoretically tightly regulated by the government’s Department Of Hyperbole (DOH) which maintained and enforced a complex set of legislation designed to protect public safety.

One of the selling points of the widgets is that they were the “shiniest DOH-approved widgets” available anywhere in the whole wide world.

It was true that they were indeed the shiniest widgets. There was no doubt about that. And based on that fact, the Hyper transit widgets sold like hotcakes.

The was one minor troubling nit of a detail, though. The widgets were never DOH approved. Not meeting government criteria went a long way in making it easier to make their widgets shiny. Other widget manufacturers made products that were less shiny because they were hindered by the fact they actually obeyed the law.

Widget-hungry consumers, if they had bothered to look, would find an online database of many widget violations and disciplinary actions taken by DOH.

The corporation just keep making and selling the widgets and playing games with the government. They were able to get away with it for an amazingly long time. It’s not like public safety was involved.

Then, one day, something happened. Hyper Transit Widget Spheroid Solids dissolved and ceased to be a corporation. Yeah! A blow was struck for truth, justice and the American way.

It didn’t last long, though. The very next day a new corporation set up shop at the exact same address. It was called Blongorgic Transit Widget Spheroid Solids and, amazingly, made the very same products.

Of course the two corporations had absolutely nothing do with each other. Legally they were two different and totally distinct entities. They did happen to have the same person who controlled 100% of the shares, though. Odd coincidence, that.

Now if you excuse me, I need to go buy a transit widget spheroid solid. Nice knowin’ ya!

3 responses

  1. Mmmm. I love me the smell of widgets in the morning.

    Like

    1. So that’s how you get high? ๐Ÿ™‚ Widgets are highly toxic. Limited exposure is recommended. On there other hand, there’s literally nothing that widgets can’t do. They can take you anywhere you need to be!

      Like

      1. Best way to travel! ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Like

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