Lemming My Eggo

lotterySometimes I feel a bit like a lemming who looks around and says, “Hey. Sup with that cliff, yo?”

Is there free will? If not, then it sucks to be you. Because, those dies that were cast are mighty damn cruel. Think about it. If there’s no free will then you have to act like this. Somebody clearly doesn’t like you.

If there is free will? Then you’ve got a hell of a lot of explaining to do.

“What happened? Why did you run over and kill those pedestrians?”

“I couldn’t see. The sun was in my eyes.”

“Uh, okay. Follow-up question: Why the fuck was your car moving?”

“I don’t know. All the other cars (that I couldn’t see) were moving, too. I had faith we were all moving together. It seemed like the thing to do.”

“Seriously. How do you expect us to allow you to continue to roam free? Shouldn’t you have been crushed upon the rocks at the bottom of the sea cliff by now? And, just curious. I have to ask. Have you reproduced yet?”

Next!

“Hey, you. What’s your story?”

“I decided to teach my 10-year-old son how to drive. A truck. Right by a river. And, for good measure, I brought all of my other sons along for the ride.”

Good plan. After all, what could possibly go wrong?

Long story short, I choose to do things like not walk in front of moving vehicles. To each their own.

One response

  1. I don’t drive. Hi…

    Like

Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

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