Lightning hits school teacher
To my mind this poses many questions. What about the profession of the victim warranted prime time placement in the headline? What if the victim had a different profession?
Let’s find out! In case it isn’t clear, all of the following versions are my own.
Lightning hits striking dock worker
Was he “hit” or was it a “strike?” Make up your mind.
Lightning hits baseball player for the cycle
It blew through the bunt sign.
Lightning hits nun treed by bear
I’m not sure which is most important here. The fact that she’s a nun, was in a tree, or was chased by a bear.
Lightning hits homosexual soldier; Westboro Baptist Church celebrates
Sometimes bad people get to be happy. Life isn’t fair.
Lightning hits negatively-charged guru; universe destroyed
I canna change the laws of physics!
Lightning cleaves butcher into top choice
Isn’t that killing two birds with one stone? Win win!
Lightning hits restaurant patron with fork
More perplexing ambiguity!
Lightning hits journalist with film at eleven
We get paid to write headlines.
Lighting storms out in anger
Don’t be that way.
Lightning fries a pound of bacon but pig survives
This joke is in very porcine taste.
Lightning hits stranded motorist on expressway with heavy toll
Exact change required.
Model hit by lightning takes it in the shorts.
They call that fashion?
Lightning hits brain surgeon in the head
I’d call that a lightning lobotomy.
Lightning taps dancer
Life is a strange ballet.