Lightning hits school teacher

lightningAn event happened and news media took notice and the following headline was written:

Lightning hits school teacher

To my mind this poses many questions. What about the profession of the victim warranted prime time placement in the headline? What if the victim had a different profession?

Let’s find out! In case it isn’t clear, all of the following versions are my own.

Lightning hits striking dock worker

Was he “hit” or was it a “strike?” Make up your mind.

Lightning hits baseball player for the cycle

It blew through the bunt sign.

Lightning hits nun treed by bear

I’m not sure which is most important here. The fact that she’s a nun, was in a tree, or was chased by a bear.

Lightning hits homosexual soldier; Westboro Baptist Church celebrates

Sometimes bad people get to be happy. Life isn’t fair.

Lightning hits negatively-charged guru; universe destroyed

I canna change the laws of physics!

Lightning cleaves butcher into top choice

Isn’t that killing two birds with one stone? Win win!

Lightning hits restaurant patron with fork

More perplexing ambiguity!

Lightning hits journalist with film at eleven

We get paid to write headlines.

Lighting storms out in anger

Don’t be that way.

Lightning fries a pound of bacon but pig survives

This joke is in very porcine taste.

Lightning hits stranded motorist on expressway with heavy toll

Exact change required.

Model hit by lightning takes it in the shorts.

They call that fashion?

Lightning hits brain surgeon in the head

I’d call that a lightning lobotomy.

Lightning taps dancer

Life is a strange ballet.

2 responses

  1. Lightning storms out? Nice! πŸ™‚

    Like

    1. This post could have been so much funnier. You know, if I had like talent or something. These were darn hard to write and some are clearly funnier than others. Thanks for noticing one of my favorites. πŸ™‚

      Like

Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: