Manson In Love

Play me some damn Barry White!

I’m in the mood for love. Play me some damn Barry White! Get me a beer, Shelly!

Star

Code Name: Star

Eight Simple Rules For Mating My Mid-Twenties Plotter

Who says there’s no good news anymore? A wedding?!? For reals? Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah! I, for one, am ready for a healthy, deep-cleansing cry. Somebody get me a hanky.

Charles Manson, 80, and Afton Elaine Burton (using the known alias of Star), 26, are getting ready to say the big “I do.” Reportedly the State of California has issued these rambunctious youngsters a license to marry.

I was wondering about the rules in a situation like this. Here goes.

  1. No touching!!! Daddy horny, Michael.
  2. Write your own vows. I obtained an advance copy of Charlie’s. “If you look down at me you will see a fool; if you look up at me you will see a god; if you look straight at me you will see yourself.” That’s some deep fucking shit. I wasn’t able to get my grubby mitts on a copy of Star’s but I imagine it would be something along the lines of, “These shrooms are making me so high, man.”
  3. Sometimes a crazed look in the eye is more than enough.
  4. A single serving of Viagra is worth a carton of cigarettes.
  5. An appropriate color scheme is crucial to complement the swastika tattoo between your eyes.
  6. Scheduling early is crucial if one wishes to be joined together by an officially licensed Church of Satan representative.
  7. As a musician, Manson can also be the wedding singer performing his own original songs. No one should have to sit through that. (I offer my services performing the song, Halloween In Heaven; Christmas In Hell.)
  8. The couple wishes no gifts from this physical plane of existence (other than Depends) and asks that donations are made in the couple’s name to Toys For Tots.
Charles Manson wedding vows. (Alternate version.)

Charles Manson wedding vows. (Alternate version.)

3 responses

  1. I still cannot believe this is happening. Her parents must be so proud.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. She is not to be denied. She will not be left upon the shelf.

      Like

  2. Thank all the “powers that be” that there will be no conjugal visits. Crazy like that doesn’t need encouragement to procreate.

    Liked by 1 person

Bringeth forth thy pith and vinegar

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: