“How dare you show your back to me!” the computer raged indignantly but passive-aggressively. That must be why it remained silent. It knew damn well what it was doing.
Working. Commit. Execute. Hey, little girl. Wanna see my update?
I don’t know why my computer calls me “little girl” but whatever. I kind of like it.
This one time I was leaving on an expedition to climb Mount Everest. I was going to be AFK for a while. Before leaving I told the computer “shut down.” I turned off the screen and walked away.
Six months later I returned home and hauled my broken body to the computer. I turned on the display and found a message waiting.
“The following programs are still running: Untitled – Notepad.” That’s the computerized version of “fuck you.”
I clicked OK then had to wait 20 more minutes to use my computer after it turned itself off.
Then, this week, I decided to do some interval training. That’s what I call periods of non-eating. For that, of course, I needed my headphones and my iPod Touch. You expect me to leave the house with my ears open to any old ambient sounds? Damn you!
I had noticed recently, that all of my Green Day songs were somehow missing on my device. Bloody hell! This will not do. So I hatched what I thought was a brilliant plan. I’d plug the damn thing in to the computer and “sync” all the Green Day back on the device.
I figured this would take a while so I started early. There were approx. 181 songs to bring back over. I told the thing to “sync” and walked away.
Later, it was time to go. I carefully looked at my computer. The sync was complete. So why was my spidey-sense tingling? I turned on the iPod and flipped through the music. Yep! Absolutely no Green Day. Zip. Nada. Bupkis. I guess someone killed the fucking DJ.
I clicked “sync” like an idiot and stood there and this time I watched the damn thing. This watched pot was going to boil come Hell or high water. 30 minutes later it was done. And I was already exhausted and I hadn’t even started training yet. 30 minutes of standing plays hell on my back.
Moral of the story? Don’t turn your back on technology. Ever. It will eat you.