It was Sunday morning. I was sitting on the sofa with my wife. She was trying to open an “eCard” and watching a spinning animation instead. I was trying to access a website and getting a spinning animation, too.
It wasn’t the internet connection. It was that technology is shitty.
How sad is this? I thought as we sat there clicking refresh umpteen times. This is the world that technology has promised.
Futuristic togetherness. Watching. Waiting. Together. Forever.
I went to a website. I had been there before so the login and password fields were already filled in. I waited a couple days for the spinning icon to finally stop.
I clicked login.
Then it spun some more. Finally it said dramatically, “504 Gateway Timeout.”
I clicked the back button. It spun some more. I clicked refresh. It spun some more.
Finally it was ready to try again.
Holy mother of God!
The password field was now blank. In the name of Zeus’ butthole WHY???
This is not embellishment. This is exactly what happened. This is not a rare occurrence. Little technology failures like this happen every single day. All day long. Over and over and over again.
Trying to accomplish any simple basic task now requires as much time as raising a child from birth through college graduation. Yeah, things take a while.
I got my email to open. In rapid succession I received a bunch of sales emails, all from the same company:
- Get everything on the cloud – today
- 10 dangers lurking in the cloud
- How the cloud improves your life
- The Latest Data Threats in the Cloud…and What They Mean to You
- 4 reasons why public cloud is growing
- Avoiding the breach: What you need to know about online security
I. Shit. You. Not. Mixed messages much? And this was from a company that sells products in the cloud!!!
The more moving parts there are the more things that will go wrong. And they want you to have the maximum number of moving parts. All the time. For the rest of your life. Put your house in the cloud. Put your car in the cloud. Your wallet. Your health data. Your entertainment. Your financial future. Your job. Put everything there. Put your pets in the cloud.
What ever could possibly go wrong?