G.R.I.P.E.

Gerbil Research Institute of Parental EdificationMission

Through research, knowledge, and gentle humor offer assistance and support to parents suffering from the effects of F.E.N.S. (False Empty Nest Syndrome) and promote greater understanding and wider acceptance of this condition.

Definitions

gerbil – a person that fails to leave home as anticipated or returns unexpectedly after only a short period of time thus triggering the onset of FENS in one or both parents. Other irresponsible, rude and frightening behaviors may also be involved.

F.E.N.S. – Also known as False Empty Nest Syndrome. This condition occurs within parents (affecting primarily males) when an ongoing or expected period of Empty Nest Syndrome (affecting primarily females) is interrupted or delayed by the unanticipated return of a child who, when engaging in certain behaviors, assumes the role of “gerbil” within the home.

The G.R.I.P.E. Research Library

Find research, case studies and more.

Click here to surf the “gerbil” tag on this blog and peruse the historical documents.

34 responses

  1. This is hilarious. I think you’ve really got something here. It could be a national movement. Now, how to make money from this? T-shirts, calendars, mugs? It’s expensive being the parents of gerbils. Parents of Gerbils are the ones running on the wheel while their gerbil offspring are lounging in the cedar shavings.

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  8. […] and chicken-flavored Rice-A-Roni. Since we’re vegetarian we gave the Rice-A-Roni to the gerbil who seemed quite excited to have a free meal and immediately made himself a […]

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  25. […] well into the third full day as the lone resident of my apartment since my son (the Gerbil) finally moved out, and have done almost none of the things that I thought I would have done by […]

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  28. Not sure how I ended up here, but I (oddly:) enjoy the read*

    Stay fresh dude!! 🙂

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    1. I hope you can take a tour of our facilities sometime!

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