Tag Archives: block

Big Tail Adventures: The Butcher Block

el-guapo-butcher-block

Blockages: The Tony Vlachos Story #Survivor

tony-vlachosThere are two things I like. The reality TV show Survivor and the reality social show Twitter. These are a few of my favorite things.

Survivor is a delight as a little microcosm of humanity. An animated diorama world of greed and bad behavior inside the magic box. What’s not to like?

Twitter, with its 140-character limit, is a short and sweet. In the right hands it can be art form. In the wrong hands? “I’m on the can” or “I’m drinking a smoothie.” Often in the very same tweet.

I’ve been religiously watching Survivor since day one when Richard Hatch won the inaugural season in Borneo. I never miss an episode.

Earlier this year, when Survivor Cagayan, the 28th season, was announced, I did something new. I used Twitter to interact with some contestants on the show. The worlds of Survivor and Twitter collided like chocolate in my peanut butter.
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Bridges and Icebergs

icebergThis right here is payback from way back I don’t play that
This right here is payback from way back I don’t play that
This right here is payback from way back I don’t play that
This right here is payback from way back I don’t play that

Recognize a real dime
When you see mine
And don’t try to be one
You fuckin peon
I been like Deion for eons
You ain’t nuttin but a biotch
Messed around and let me read up
I come back through and tear the street up

What did Chris Christie know and when did he know it? Did he order the code red? Can we handle the truth?

This post will explore none of those questions.

A recent poll found that 42 percent of Americans believe Christie has been telling the truth about “Bridgegate” and 44 percent believe he is not. The poll had a margin of error of about 3.5 percent. In other words, we’re not sure.

That makes sense because only those who know really know. For the rest of us, it’s just conjecture and opinion.

But, perhaps, will can still draw some conclusions. Let’s try.

For instance, let’s say we lift up a rock and see a potato bug. A single, solitary wiggly potato bug on freshly exposed earth who suddenly feels very unsure of his status in the universe. What can we make of this?

Is he the only one? Might there be more, perhaps if we lift more rocks? Which is the simplest explanation?

I submit that the simplest explanation is that where there is one it is likely there are more. The alternative is that what you see is a one-time-only occurrence which, although possible, may not be the most probable possibility.

If this line of reasoning holds water, then perhaps our inquisitiveness about things like Bridgegate should explore a totally different direction.

In other words, what if Bridgegate is just the tip of the iceberg?
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Guru Comic: Blocked Head

guru-blocked

Random Music: All I Want by The Offspring

I had just finished saving as a “draft” something I had previously intended to post as my deep thought of the day. The post happened to be about the boss. It didn’t make the publishing cut, though, because it was too puss-ridden, even for me!

I was forced to save it and see if it can somehow be salvaged for later. This is a very routine sort of event on my blog. Most that go to Cemetery of Hateful Drafts never return to see the light of day. Sometimes, though, one gets through, usually as a zombie.

Running out of time, with today’s deadline looming, I decided to try to find a little extra inspiration. My plan: Gather my thoughts, clear my mind, focus, extend my aura, and reach out and see what awaits me…
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How Pandora can help you write your blog

writer's block - crushed and crumpled paper on notepadI’m looking at a blank space on my computer screen and my mind is equally blank.

Oh noes! Writer’s block!

Like most days, I woke up with oodles of enthusiasm and lots of blog post ideas dancing in my head. I rushed to my office and sat down and the words magically flowed from my fingertips and into the computer, which, during the process, became an extension of my stream of consciousness.

Voila! In no time at all a blog post was born.

Too bad I can’t use it. It sets a new low, even for me. Personally I love it. But then this awareness washed over me like a tsunami of failure. The post is simply too pathetic, even for this POS blog.

Fuck!

Back to the drawing board, I guess. And that’s when it happened. The blank screen consumed me. It seems I have no more ideas left in me for today. Guru powers can be draining. I got nothing. Nothing times infinity. Plus one. And then some. With motherfucking sprinkles on top.

Pandora boothI’ve had an idea for some time for helping me through rough spots as a writer. It involves Pandora, the personalized internet radio service.

My idea works like this:

  • Load Pandora
  • Pick one of your existing stations based on your mood
  • From the first song that comes up, divine inspiration
  • Go!

Inspiration can take the form of a word, idea or feeling that the song evokes.

That’s it. That’s the gist of an idea I came up with to help me think of something to blog about. It’s not exactly rocket science, eh? Because I got stuck this morning, I decided to give it the old college try.

Station: Theory of a Deadman

Yeah, my mood isn’t exactly the best. In fact, I’ve been sitting here literally wondering if I’m insane. I’ve been thinking I need some sort of treatment. So I picked the rock band Theory of a Deadman to suit my mood.

I was very curious to see what song would come up. From where would inspiration spring? This is a lot like holding a question in your head, picking up a book and opening to a page at random.

Song: Lowlife

Perfect! That’s just perfect! I just painted myself into a corner! Fail. Woots.

I won’t say what that other post was about – the wife would kill me – but here’s a wee hint:

Bloggy Block and Feeling Super

Bloggy Block

Hello blankity-blank blank “add new post” function. You sure look blank.

How are you?

Me? Oh, I’m fine. Thanks for asking.

[blank stare]

So yeah, here I am, about 22 hours behind on posting, and I got nothing. Nothing! Argh.

Oh, I got me some words. I always have lots of those. I just pumped out 1,000 of them into what might as well have been a bit bucket. They are words but they are not useable words.

It has been a rough week. I feel like death warmed over. Can’t sleep and can’t breathe. Try it, you’ll like it. I think you will find it to be an effective combination.

Hopefully my posts of late have made it clear how I feel. Bad. Dark. Grim. Negative.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel better. Oops. A hopeful thought.

Feeling Super

In case you missed it, there was a wee bit o’ the snafu at this year’s Super Bowl. Yeah, something to cheer about!

First, how does a city get selected to host a Super Bowl?

Officially, there is a bidding process. Cities place bids and are evaluated on factors like “stadium renovation” and “the ability to host.” Traditionally cities must also currently be home to an NFL franchise. NFL owners then meet and make their selection.

Unofficially? Well, there is a lot of scrilla on the line. So there is probably a lot of “lobbying” involved. And by “lobbying” I mean, of course, bribes and prostitutes. (Coincidentally the name of my upcoming album.)

A prime consideration is no doubt seating capacity. The NFL wants lots of seats and lots of asses in those seats. Jerry Jones, the owner of the Dallas Cowboys, was especially excited by this:

I think we’ve got a good chance to break the record without counting anything outside. The stadium is certified for 111,700. When we built this stadium, I had in mind being able to reach those kinds of numbers.

–Jerry Jones, prior to Super Bowl XLV

Any crowd that consists of 11.2% of a million people is one I want to avoid. But suffice it to say that the ability to have seats is a prime factor of being selected as a host city.

The Cowboys did lead the NFL in the 2011 season with average attendance of 87,047 per game. But that’s a far cry from 111,700. How in the world would they get there?

Temporary seating.

Oooh, goodie! A ticket to the Super Bowl and it is in one of Jerry Jones’ temporary seats. What an exciting win-win!

Jerry Jones guano

As I live-blogged on Twitter prior to kick off on game day:

“Breaking news: Super Bowl overbooked. Not enough plastic lawn chairs for all fans. Some will be bumped to the next flight. #nfl #fail”

The Cowboys – and not the NFL as is traditional – hired contractors to install the temporary seats. The City of Arlington was faced with the responsibility of enforcing building codes to ensure public safety. And not just going along with what crybaby Jerry Jones wanted.

By game time the proper decision was made. Not all fans with tickets would be allowed into the game because the seating wasn’t ready.

The Super Bowl had been overbooked.

It has been reported that the NFL knew of the problem as early as December 2010 but didn’t take action. Tickets were still allowed to be sold based on the inflated seat count. Fans were kept uninformed. Fans who made travel plans and arrangements. Fans that spent money to be part of the “NFL experience.” Presumably, in order to get the full “NFL experience,” many of those fans must have resorted to beating their women, shooting up bars, and destroying hotel rooms. That’s probably the best way for average folks to the full NFL “experience.” That and a jail stay.

I listened carefully but I never heard one hint of the fiasco from FOX Sports, the broadcaster of Super Bowl XLV. Apparently they didn’t want to make waves with the NFL. Other news media didn’t hold back, though.

The NFL offered displaced fans a refund equal to three times the printed ticket price and the opportunity to watch the game on television with a seven-second broadcasting delay. Compensation offered to fans did not, however, include travel expenses.

The NFL claimed that 850 of 1,250 displaced fans were seated in comparable or better seats. But some in that group of 850 have disputed that claim.

Some angry fans have responded by launching web sites like www.displacedfans45.com and SuperBowlSuit.com.

I love the smell of negativity in the morning! Invigorating! Perhaps I’ll be feeling better soon after all!

How about you? Had you heard about the Super Bowl Seating Crisis or no?