Today we’ll explore another fascinating facet of GUNT (Grand Unification Negativity Theory) that offers supporting evidence that every human enterprise is gamed to the Nth degree.
At the Guru of Negativity I happen to love Yelp. (Their politics aside. That’s another story.) Surprised? Think about it. Start with the word “yelp” itself.
yelp: a short sharp cry, esp. of pain or alarm
Yep! The negativity is built right in. Don’t blame me. I’m not the one who named the service. It’s intended to be a place where you share your sharp cries of pain. Now that’s a blight idea!
The Yelp business model is simple. You criticize each other and we’ll make money off it. What could possibly go wrong?
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Hello blankity-blank blank “add new post” function. You sure look blank.
How are you?
Me? Oh, I’m fine. Thanks for asking.
So yeah, here I am, about 22 hours behind on posting, and I got nothing. Nothing! Argh.
Oh, I got me some words. I always have lots of those. I just pumped out 1,000 of them into what might as well have been a bit bucket. They are words but they are not useable words.
It has been a rough week. I feel like death warmed over. Can’t sleep and can’t breathe. Try it, you’ll like it. I think you will find it to be an effective combination.
Hopefully my posts of late have made it clear how I feel. Bad. Dark. Grim. Negative.
Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel better. Oops. A hopeful thought.
In case you missed it, there was a wee bit o’ the snafu at this year’s Super Bowl. Yeah, something to cheer about!
First, how does a city get selected to host a Super Bowl?
Officially, there is a bidding process. Cities place bids and are evaluated on factors like “stadium renovation” and “the ability to host.” Traditionally cities must also currently be home to an NFL franchise. NFL owners then meet and make their selection.
Unofficially? Well, there is a lot of scrilla on the line. So there is probably a lot of “lobbying” involved. And by “lobbying” I mean, of course, bribes and prostitutes. (Coincidentally the name of my upcoming album.)
A prime consideration is no doubt seating capacity. The NFL wants lots of seats and lots of asses in those seats. Jerry Jones, the owner of the Dallas Cowboys, was especially excited by this:
I think we’ve got a good chance to break the record without counting anything outside. The stadium is certified for 111,700. When we built this stadium, I had in mind being able to reach those kinds of numbers.
–Jerry Jones, prior to Super Bowl XLV
Any crowd that consists of 11.2% of a million people is one I want to avoid. But suffice it to say that the ability to have seats is a prime factor of being selected as a host city.
The Cowboys did lead the NFL in the 2011 season with average attendance of 87,047 per game. But that’s a far cry from 111,700. How in the world would they get there?
Oooh, goodie! A ticket to the Super Bowl and it is in one of Jerry Jones’ temporary seats. What an exciting win-win!
As I live-blogged on Twitter prior to kick off on game day:
“Breaking news: Super Bowl overbooked. Not enough plastic lawn chairs for all fans. Some will be bumped to the next flight. #nfl #fail”
The Cowboys – and not the NFL as is traditional – hired contractors to install the temporary seats. The City of Arlington was faced with the responsibility of enforcing building codes to ensure public safety. And not just going along with what crybaby Jerry Jones wanted.
By game time the proper decision was made. Not all fans with tickets would be allowed into the game because the seating wasn’t ready.
The Super Bowl had been overbooked.
It has been reported that the NFL knew of the problem as early as December 2010 but didn’t take action. Tickets were still allowed to be sold based on the inflated seat count. Fans were kept uninformed. Fans who made travel plans and arrangements. Fans that spent money to be part of the “NFL experience.” Presumably, in order to get the full “NFL experience,” many of those fans must have resorted to beating their women, shooting up bars, and destroying hotel rooms. That’s probably the best way for average folks to the full NFL “experience.” That and a jail stay.
I listened carefully but I never heard one hint of the fiasco from FOX Sports, the broadcaster of Super Bowl XLV. Apparently they didn’t want to make waves with the NFL. Other news media didn’t hold back, though.
The NFL offered displaced fans a refund equal to three times the printed ticket price and the opportunity to watch the game on television with a seven-second broadcasting delay. Compensation offered to fans did not, however, include travel expenses.
The NFL claimed that 850 of 1,250 displaced fans were seated in comparable or better seats. But some in that group of 850 have disputed that claim.
I love the smell of negativity in the morning! Invigorating! Perhaps I’ll be feeling better soon after all!
How about you? Had you heard about the Super Bowl Seating Crisis or no?