Tag Archives: employer

Why is Bob smiling?

smiling-bobMeet Bob.

Bob is smiling.  Keep reading to find out why.

Bob has a job and a boss. He is required to work on Thanksgiving Day and the Friday after. If he refuses, he will lose his job.

When Bob works over 40 hours a week, he does not receive overtime pay. He’s exempt. Bob doesn’t receive overtime if he works over an eight-hour shift.

Even though he’s a full-time employee, Bob does not receive “benefits” from his employer like health insurance, pension, or 401(k).

Continue reading →

Work It

loverboy“What is the meaning of work?” a guru asked his friend.
His friend replied, “Well, son, it happens when your wits have reached their end.”

Life is work. Work is life.

Some people, I like to think of them as motherfuckers, would have us believe shit like this.

What is work? Is it something you do in order to survive? Or is it the meaning of life itself? It seems to me that maybe, just maybe, your perspective might be based on who you are. For example, if you are The King and lounge around all day with your turkey drumsticks, your opinion that servants should pursue a life of labor just might be biased. Ya think?

Me? I’ve never been all that enthralled with money and I was born and raised into a culture where work is something exclusively done in the pursuit of money. To me money is something that enables a standard of living and some of the stuff I want. Beyond that? Who gives a shit?

So I guess it’s not too surprising that my work ethic follows suit. I don’t work for fun. I don’t work because it is its own reward. I work because I have to. Period. No other reason. Zip. Nada. Bupkis. I simply see no other choice. How many non-work life paths are there and which of them could meet my needs?

Basically the only reason I work is so I can enjoy the times I’m not working.

And, right now, at this moment in my life as a citizen of the United States, I currently enjoy the maximum number of vacation days as required by law.

Zero.

Continue reading →

Shoddy Mobby

Poetic.

Poetic.

On Monday the Supreme Court Of The United Status (SCOTUS) rendered a decision in Burwell v. Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc.

What’s a “Burwell,” you ask? As the Secretary of Health and Human Services at the time the decision was rendered*, Sylvia Burwell automatically became a footnote to history. Based on her position, as far as this case is concerned, she’s a proxy for the United States.

*render:
melt down (fat) – process (the carcass of an animal) in order to extract proteins, fats, and other usable parts.

At issue (per the Hobby Lobby website): The federal government mandating that “family businesses provide four specific potentially life-terminating drugs and devices through their employee health plan in conflict with their deeply held religious convictions.” Widely the issue is described as contraception. So what are these four drugs? “[T]wo kinds of emergency contraceptive or ‘morning after’ pills, and two types of intrauterine devices, or IUDs.”

Which way did SCOTUS break? Let’s put it this way. I went to the official Hobby Lobby online store and clicked a menu option labeled “News Center.” I was whisked away from shopping to HobbyLobbyCase.com, a lavishly and gorgeously designed website which proudly proclaimed, “A VICTORY FOR RELIGIOUS LIBERTY.”

I guess that answers the question, “Will they keep it low key?” Obviously, hell no. Shout it from the mountain top Moses-style. Some can just naturally sense the appropriate amount of decorum. Is gloating one of the seven deadly sins?
Continue reading →

Work Job

bad-bossThe “Work Job” is a sexual act of the most scurrilous and despicable nature. It involves finding a partner, known as a boss, turning around, bending over to touch your toes and waiting for it. The rest? It’s so heinous I can’t even think about it, much less describe it, not even to liven up this post for your entertainment. Sorry, I just can’t do it.

I’ve noticed something. When I make predictions and statements that are born out to be 100% correct, the universe covers me in a pile of shit as way of thanks. When someone like Karl Rove makes predictions that are dead wrong, he is given somewhere between $90 to $160 million of other people’s money to throw down a toilet hole.

Something tells me it should be the other way around.

Take the topic of bosses and jobs, for example. I’ve been preaching the way things are for quite some time. Did anyone listen to me? No!

There are a few keys moments I can remember in my life. For a lot of folks they remember where they were when JFK was shot. Well, I’m too young for that. For me, those watershed moments are things like the Challenger space shuttle disaster, the morning of 9/11, and the SCOTUS ruling on DOMA.

It turns out there’s one more for that list. The day that Gallup released data indicating that 70% of American workers hate their jobs. No shit. Really? Now you’re justing repeating things I’ve already said! I made that case a long, long time ago, only more eloquently.

Where’s my piece of the pie?
Continue reading →

The Company You Keep

calvinandhobbes

“Company.”

The dictionary defines the word as “a commercial business.”

Wikipedia, as usual, is a bit more verbose:

“A company is an association or collection of individuals, people or “warm-bodies” or else contrived “legal persons” (or a mixture of both). Company members share a common purpose and unite in order to focus their various talents and organize their collectively available skills or resources to achieve specific, declared goals. Companies take various forms such as [a] … [b]usiness entity with an aim of gaining a profit.”

Source: Wikipedia – Company

“Warm bodies?” Holy shit. Wikipedia nails it. Again!

The business manager stormed into the meeting and saw a lot of empty chairs. “God damn it,” he bellowed. “Get me more warm bodies in here!”

Most of us born and bred in the United States wholly swallow – hook, line and sinker – the premise that a company is an organization comprised of human beings with the shared goal of making money, i.e., acquiring profit.

My purpose here today is debate the other point of view, that this concept we’ve so fully accepted is complete and utter horseshit.
Continue reading →

Just another Boss in the Wall

facelessPoems, everyone. The laddie fancies himself a poet! (Yes, see? I took some song lyrics and changed exactly four words. A poet I be.)
Continue reading →

Going into Labor

laborFriends, today I read a passage from the Demotivational Dictionary:

labor union: just about the only people on planet Earth who give a flying shit about the plight of the lowly worker.
–Source: not Wikipedia

What is a labor union?

If we think of the employer/employee paradigm as a formula, on one side of the equation we find power, control, the ability to make decisions, have a hand in the company’s fate, profit, dignity, respect, ties to government, legislation, influence, and much, much more.

The labor union is that which stands to protect all that remains on the other side of that equation.

There may be a lot of power-imbalanced relationships in the average person’s life, but the relationship between employer and employee is most likely at the top of that list. Bar none.

Are labor unions perfect? No. Do they have flaws? Yes. After all, they are comprised of flawed human beings just like every other human-based organizational unit on planet Earth. They are, however, just about the last bastion of hope for the average worker who stands opposed in the face of overwhelming injustice and the imbalance of power.

Like my daddy used to say, it’s enough to make me go burlap.
Continue reading →