Tag Archives: gay

Hyppo and Critter: Book Learnin’

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Tom’s Fruit Stand Customer Questionnaire

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Guru Comic: Low-hanging Fruit

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That Logic is Gay

Humans tend to get into trouble when failures of logic fail to kill them.

That’s because a logic failure that doesn’t produce death is interpreted by our evolutionary brains as “success.” The more complex the logic the greater the opportunity for a false assumption of a logic win.

That’s all. Let’s explore our sexualities together a simple example.

“Gay people can’t reproduce.”

Orly?

That must make managing teh gay very, very easy. Simply cull from the herd anyone missing reproductive organs, right?
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Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Demerit Badges

you-dont-sayBoy Scouts of America (BSA), under fire for a policy which prohibits membership for homosexuals, has come up with a jaw-dropping and breathless proposal they feel just might remedy the situation:

“No youth may be denied membership in the Boy Scouts of America on the basis of sexual orientation or preference alone.”

–Boy Scouts of America, excerpt of proposed resolution

Wow! That sounds pretty damn compelling, right? Finally! No more unfair and unfounded criticism for this piece of Americana organization which is a fine and upstanding part of our community and never does anything wrong. This will finally shut up those annoying critics.

Alas, as the rest of the internet has noticed, the proposal only applies to “youth.” Homosexuals are still prohibited from serving as scoutmasters and den mothers.

Oops.

However, something else about the line of text caught my eye. Do you see it, too? I may very well be the only son of a bitch in the universe to have caught on. Aren’t you lucky to know me? Membership has its privileges.
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Let Them Not Eat Cake

sam-sex-wedding-cake“Hey, that cakes looks delicious.”

“Thanks. Want a piece?”

“I don’t know. Has it been vetted? I only eat straight cake, motherfucker. That’s how they get you.”

Jesus loves the little children,
All the children of the world.
Red and yellow, black and white,
All are precious in His sight,
Jesus loves the little children of the world.

If you grow up, though, then you’re on your own. Jesus has got places to go and things to do. He has a very full schedule.

This post is about three bakeries (and probably more) that are in the business of making, among other things, wedding cakes, but have policies against providing their cakes to weddings for gay couples.

Those bakers have gotten their batter in a bother. Yes, the sacred art of stirring flour, sugar and eggs must be defended. No matter the cost. This is jihad.

OK, I’ll bite. This will be my attempt to leaven things up with a dash of reason. As always my two bits are the icing on the cake.

For dessert I’ll be serving delicious Bread of Shame, so bring your appetite! I’m generously offering to slice off little pats of my anger to be used as a topping. I’m currently off dairy.
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The Crass Boy Scout

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Are you prepared? Here I come!

The cries of “Boycott! Boycott!” echoed from sea to denying sea.

You gotta love a free country.

The owner of a fast food chicken company sponsored a defense of marriage conference. Of course they did. The connection between marriage and chicken is self-evident. He also poured millions of his wealth into groups that oppose gay marriage.

Some who supported gay marriage had a bone to pick and cried out, “We must boycott this place!” I guess I must agree, since I’ve never partaken of the bounty of that particular establishment.

Others decried the boycotters, saying, “It’s crass to boycott based on someone exercising his right to free speech.” So they staged a restaurant appreciation day to show their support. Incidentally, that’s also known as a reverse-boycott. Hypocrites.

After their umbrage faded they regrouped to defend Christmas which was under siege of war. But these loyal foot soldiers of freedom only targeted people who truly deserved to be boycotted, such as businesses that didn’t go out of their way to include their holy phrases in advertisements.

And then I bumped into the boy scouts.
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