Tag Archives: head

Donald Trump’s Penis: Introductions

donald-trumps-penis

What Screams May Come

bullet-in-the-headI chose not to watch the beheading videos. For two reasons, mainly. First, I have quite the imagination so I didn’t really feel it was necessary. And, secondly, they put the videos online which assumes they wanted them to be seen. By not watching I was actively thwarting their will. That felt pretty damn good.

Even so, it was hard to avoid still images taken from the videos. They were on the evening news. They were on Google. They were showing inline on Twitter.

I heard they did a study and 95% of respondents had heard about the beheadings. They said this was higher than any news event in the last five years. Wow. It’s hard to imagine in this day and age that 5% of us were still, somehow, blissfully unaware. Is 5% about the same amount who live out in the woods and off the grid? I’d like to meet these people. Send me their Twitter usernames.

Usually I try mindfully not to let the conscious world intrude upon my mind. Even so, sometimes the dreams come. What is the genesis of dreams? Who knows? I haven’t been able to find any rhyme or reason to it.

Some people will tell you that dreams have meaning. In one theory they say that everything in the dream represents some facet of yourself. Poppycock! I believe dreams are a random white noise of the mind.
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Talkin’ ‘Bout Your Degeneration

evil_childI have come face to face with the devil. No, it’s not me. Not this time. I can’t talk about myself in every post, can I? Sometimes the devil comes in the form of a sweet little girl.

Why is it that when strangers see a baby, an adorable child, or a cute little dog they feel it’s suddenly socially acceptable to interact with same and/or the adults involved?

I hate that. I’ll thank you very much to stay the hell away.

My wife is one of those people. A toddler in a restaurant stands on a seat and stares at my wife. She’ll smile and wave and stuff like that. The nerve.

So the other day there’s a mom and her cute little girl in a restaurant. I was eating my tacos and minding my own business. My wife saw the little girl and smiled. Then, when the mom wasn’t looking, the girl stuck out her tongue at my wife. Three times!

Mom looked back and the little girl went back to adorable peaches and cream. Mom was none the wiser.

The behavior was calculated. The behavior was deliberate. That little girl knew exactly what she was doing. And it wasn’t an innocent act of cuteness, either. There was something vicious behind that tongue. The Marquis de Sade would have proudly declared she had a bright future.

My wife mentioned something about giving the girl a swat on her tushy. It takes a village to raise a child? Try touching someone else’s kid and you’ll be sued until the cows come home. The bank robber that brandished a firearm the other day? The cops arrested him then he was released due to a lack of jail space. Step in and do a job that a parent isn’t willing to do? The catch-and-release program will suddenly be canceled and you’ll be doing hard time. Don’t even think about trying to tell a parent their business.

Me? I mumbled something about “guns” and suddenly I was the one in trouble. My wife accusingly said, “You always take things too far.”

Hey, lady! I’m not the one sticking out my tongue at strangers, so there!
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Hyppo and Critter: Pinhead Angels

Blindage Blinders Blindingly Bright

Mitt Romney is goodness and light. Mitt Romney creates jobs. Mitt Romney is pro-life. Thou shan’t speak ill of Mitt Romney.

I have to admit: I’m still amazed when I see someone swimming in a pool of their own shit, when they gesture at me and yell, “Come on in! The water is fine!”

I’m as negative and as jaded as they come and this still gets me each and every time. It literally takes my breath away. It literally makes my head asplode.

I guess it makes me feel alive to know I can still be surprised that way.

I met a person the other day and we talked about presidential politics briefly. One of my friends will be pleased to note that she said Obama is a “narcissist.”

“Interesting,” I replied. “What word would you use to describe Mitt Romney?”

“I don’t know that much about him. Isn’t he into Scientology or a Mormon or something?” (This is an exact quote. I am decidedly not comparing those two.)

All hail the era of the informed voter! 🙂

This post isn’t about any single issue or candidate. It’s about the principle of “bias.” Call it what you will. Rose-colored glasses. Wishful thinking. Self-fulfilling prophecy. Whatever the hell it is, it is out there in abundance.

And, I might be biased, but I think my coverage of the topic will be the best ever!
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Video bonus: You can do anything!