I slipped out of my home and blended into the urban landscape. Nothing to notice here. Just another lost soul looking miserable and drifting along with the tides of refuse dotted across the city. For good measure I even added a limp which wasn’t that much of a stretch since my ankle was still smarting from being smashed on a rock during our last whitewater rafting trip. (A story that has yet to be told.)
No fedora, tattoos, Nike footwear, North Face jacket or 1890’s neckbeards for me. I was projecting identity that screamed, “Leave me the fuck alone.” It helps a lot to be ugly and look as grim as possible.
And so it was I moved silently through the city. Which is rather odd for me since I seldom leave the house. We’re the quintessential Portland family. We have less automobiles than residents in our home. My wife was gone so that meant I had to make other arrangements.
Arriving at the bus stop I leaned against the sign. I must have just missed it since it took many spawns to arrive. I climbed aboard and asked the driver, “Is it okay if I don’t have exact change?” He said it was so I stuck in three one dollar bills for the $2.50 fare. My transfer printed and I couldn’t help but notice no change was offered. So that’s how that shit works. I paused for a reflective moment of gratitude that I hadn’t tried a one hundred dollar bill.
Is this some sort of new math?
A high school geometry teacher has been placed on paid leave and may be fired after using the example of shooting President Obama in a geometry lesson.
A student in the class described the lesson: “He was talking about angles and said, ‘If you’re in this building, you would need to take this angle to shoot the president.'” (Source.)
Think about the possibilities this opens up to finally, at long last, make word problems more interesting.
“Assume that little Johnny’s brain weighs 3 pounds. A pipe bomb is used to blow his head off, destroying 20% of brain mass. Then a chain saw is used to cut what remains exactly in half. How much brain matter remains?”
Yeah, much more interesting. Perhaps I should drop my plans to write a novel and go into mathematics textbooks instead. This might be the sign I’ve been looking for. This just might be my big break!