Tag Archives: insects

Insectisauce

A humble guru seeks some sauce.

An obsequious guru seeks some sauce in kitchen stadium. ALLEZ CUISINE!!!

As I write this I have butterflies in my stomach…

It is time to regale a simple tale born hatched of humble beginnings. A tale years in the making. It’s a tale that will turn your stomach. And it is one that must never, ever be told. So keep reading. You’ll be glad you did.

Two drosophila walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “What’ll you have?” One points at the other and says, “Ask him. He’s supposed to be the genus.”

–Tom B. Taker

For once I will set aside petty narcissism and histrionics. The tale is too damn important. It must not be tarnished by cheap tricks or overt grabs at drama. So the telling will be without hyperbole. It will be simply told. I want this post to stand the test of time so future generations thousands of years from now will truly appreciate the moment and say things like, “That shit is fucked up. Can this even be real?”

Come. Let us retire to the Puparium and I will tell the tale anon.
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Bung is a word, and more

fried-calamariWhy am I always the last to know?

Fred Armisen, of SNL and Portlandia fame, was recently announced as a 2014 James Beard award winner. It seems that way back on Jan. 11, 2013, the podcast This American Life had Armisen on board as a guest host (because he does an impression of Ira Glass) and that episode entitled Doppelgängers included a segment (heh) by Ben Calhoun that theorized about pork bung being used as “imitation calamari.”

Listen here: This American Life – Doppelgängers

I know! You people are supposed to bring things like this to my attention. Stop sitting down on the job. (Heh.)

Sadly, the podcast ultimately wasn’t able to prove that this sort of switcheroo has actually happened. The piece pretty much relegates the idea to an urban food legend. But it did quite convincingly prove that it is possible. They threw some real calamari and some bung in the deep frier and did some blind taste tests and some of their tasters picked the decoy as the real McCoy.
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Foods With Benefits

processed-foodFood has been sleeping around with your stomach and no condoms have ever been involved. It’s like a 60’s love fest in your belly. Groovy, baby.

It turns out that the human stomach isn’t that discriminating. It’s a go-with-the-flow kind of hipster dufus (probably wearing a fedora) who blindly trusts decisions made by the brain and mouth. Ha ha ha! Like they give a shit about downstream organs!

Tom’s Law #42

As one becomes less involved in the production and preparing of one’s own food, the odds of unwanted contaminants, unknown ingredients, lessened nutrition, deception and malice are exponentially increased.

Chew on that!

For example, the average fast food patron eats an average of 12 public hairs per year. And probably in a public place! Some things are meant to be handled in pubic.
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Meat Me in Montana

Hey! What are you doing? Are you checking out my marbling? Well cut that out! I’m not a piece of … well, you get the idea.

Big Bird has been pondering what new career opportunities might present themselves if his funding gets cut. Let’s put it like this: He doesn’t want to end up at Chick-Fil-A.

So, at his urging, it’s time for a post about your friend and mine. This post will explore a few randomized thoughts about meat. Some will be deadly serious and no joking matter. Some will be as frivolous as what you’ve come to expect from the likes of me. Some will be philosophical. And at least one will be a reveal of a personal nature. I hope you’ll find this post to be a cut above the rest.

Does this post have anything to do with Montana? Not really, if you get the cut of my jib.

Make the jump for the first cut-scene.
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Massacre Lore

Grandpa/brother, circa 16 cycles ago. 60x magnification. Click image for original source.

The father/brother was talking to his son/brother, passing down information that had been handed down from generation to generation. “My father/brother told me this story when I was about your age. Now I’m passing it on to you. Someday you’ll share this story with your son/brother.”

“It was many harvest cycles ago…
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Buggin’ Out: Our insect future

80 percent of the world eats insects. Here in the United States, most of us find that idea … unpalatable.

In a powerful video, Marcel Dicke makes a very compelling case that we may soon have no choice. If he’s right, the refrain may very well be, “Soylent Green is insects!!!”

If you find the prospect of eating insects to be less than delicious, would it help to know that you’re already eating them? Marcel says insects are in the processed foods we eat like tomato soup, peanut butter and even chocolate.

Agriculture lands are a limited finite resource. As the population of humans grows and becomes hungrier, and the amount of land available to farming animals like cows, chicken and sheep runs out, we’re going to have to adapt to survive.

Here’s a little chart I made illustrating one of the benefits Marcel says there is to eating insects.

Input vs. output

This is a very interesting video. I hope you’ll nibble on it.