Somewhere in the world is a road that winds its way through an incredible forest. We were passing through and my wife knew of a place where there was a single parking spot by a trail that led into that forest. One moment we were in a beautiful sunny day and the next we were in an ancient world of earthy smells where sunlight couldn’t reach the forest floor, cool air tingled our skin, sounds were strangely muted and we were surrounded by a thousand shades of green.
“I think we’re in The Hobbit trilogy,” I muttered wisely.
I’m not saying these are good photographs. They do nothing to communicate the totality of what it was like to be in that truly unique environment. But they’re all I’ve got so I’m still going to share.
The sea was crusty that day, my friends. Almost as crusty as the crusty hate on the old man’s haggard and bitter face. He came from the Crust-ation period.
He woke up angry and angrily cleaned the crust from eyes. He then reached for his underwear that was, well, at this point it doesn’t really need to be said, does it?
For breakfast he noshed on a crusty piece of bread and only the crust of a piece of pie.
His crusty toes tickling crusty sand, he staggered across the beach until crusty waves engulfed his feet. He raised his crustily clenched fist and shouted, “It is I, the saloa! Here I am!! Come and get me if you dare!”
Just offshore sharks with crusty teeth smiled and waited…
I’ve been cleaning out some old data. It’s a big job since I’ve accumulated a lot over the last two decades. Today I found a little snippet of a text file from September 2002 and felt it was quite telling in light of how my blog has turned out.
Apparently I haven’t changed all that much.
Continue reading →
– You’re at the grocery store checking our with your groceries when an elderly person starts a conversation with your checker and suddenly you’re standing there bored and ignored
– An elderly person rams your car when parking and when confronted merely shrugs, never apologizes and walks away
– After waiting patiently in line at the restaurant to pay the check an elderly man walks up and sticks his ticket in the face of an employee who takes care of him first
Frustrating? Hells yes. Like a helpless idiot you take it each and every time. And there’s nothing you can do about it, right?
Well now you can!
Introducing the new AbyssCo Pre-Gen Taser – specially calibrated and balanced to meet the unique needs of the geriatric set. This little device works just like its big brother, but is perfectly suited for use on the generation that came before you.
The Pre-Gen Taser is not available in stores and comes with our lifetime guarantee that it won’t interfere with pacemakers, won’t fry hearing aids and prevents the embarrassment of dentures being ejected. All this with the peace of mind that you’ll be long gone by the time your target regains his wits.
How It Works
Our patented Pre-Gen Probes are softer and have been specially designed to protect elderly targets and deliver a debilitating shock that is perfectly age-adjusted for needs of elderly miscreants. And an oscillating energy pulse is used to bring your target down slowly which helps prevent unsightly hip injuries.
With the optional Medi-Alert addon pak (sold separately) the Pre-Gen Taser will provide the added service of checking your target’s pulse, blood pressure, and medications – and automatically alert the nearest hospital if your target has any conditions that existed prior to the tasing. You’ll be solving an annoying problem and help save lives – all at the same time. Here at AbyssCo we call that a win-win!
Next time it happens, and it will, you’ll be ready. Pull out your Pre-Gen Taser, back away from your target a few paces (to protect yourself from released fluids), point and shoot! It’s just that easy!
Pre-order yours today and take charge* of your personal power* in the future!
* Pun intended.
Well, it has been confirmed. Survivor announced that the 21st season, Survivor Nicaragua, will be a battle of young vs. old.
18 contestants will form two teams. One tribe, Espada, will be comprised of those older than 40. The other tribe, La Flor, will consist of those younger than 30. As I surmised earlier, the game won’t have any contestants who are “30-something.” That’s just downright weird.
If the game is intensely physical like it has been in recent seasons (even roughing up players like James) this would seem to put the older folks at a disadvantage. It will interesting to see if any effort has been made to come up with challenges that will make the outcomes more uncertain. Or will the elders be left to sink or swim?
A photo of the contestants was also revealed, but with their faces concealed. The cast is expected to be announced mid-August and the show will premier on Wednesday, September 15th.