Tag Archives: prism

Guru Comic: Meaning Of Life

guru-meaning

Lying About My Intellectual Dishonesty

urban-decayOh you humans, you amuse me so!

You might be tempted to to say, “Et tu, brute?” but not so fast! Don’t forget that I exercised my God-given right to opt-out of the human race several years ago. I am not one of you.

These days you creatures are merely a fascinating field of study. You do know how to hold my interest, though. Don’t forget that I specialize in negativity.

There are so many branches of human negativity to choose from but dishonesty holds a special place in my heart.

What is a lie? The dictionary says it’s an “intentionally false statement.” It’s like the opposite of truth.

Ex: Max eats the last cookie in the jar. His mother asks, “Did you eat the cookie.” Max says, “No.”

Let’s say Max has cookie crumbs on his hand, face, shirt, and there’s a trail of crumbs leading from him to the cookie jar. That’s where forensic science comes into play, but that’s another story.

“Looks like this suspect,” the detective says while dramatically removing his sunglasses, “is ready to … crumble.” AAAAAEEEEEIIIIIIIII!
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Political Hobgoblins #comic

jaywalking-comic

A Frisky Constitutional

RightsI thought the headline was so hilarious until I found out “constitutional” is decidedly¬†not a word that means “enema.” Dammit!

Still, ever since colonic times we Americans have clung to fiercely held beliefs that we know to be self-evident. (Whew, that was a close one. For a moment there I almost didn’t bring this article down to the proper level.)

I may still be gin treatment but allow me to raise up my Tom Colonic and propose a wee toast:

O say NSA spying on through the night,
And so proudly assailed with your eyesight’s fast scheming,
With broad swipes and little regard to what was right,
O’er the sheeple you watched, and the porn they were streaming?

Source: Tom B. Taker, lyricist

As we all know, those rights our founders held so dear were elegantly immortalized in the U.S. Constitution. Except for the stuff they got wrong, of course, like those not “free” being counted as only three-fifths of a person and women not having the right to vote.

I don’t want to hit you with an elementary civics lesson, but we all know the primary function of the Supreme Court Of The United States (SCOTUS) is to chisel away at the rights enumerated in that great document.

In other words, it’s finally time for me to weigh in on NSA monitoring, PRISM and more.
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