It is time to commence with my commencement address. Please don’t worry about my qualifications. I have a Ph.D. (honorary) from the school of hard knocks.
“Dear Class of 2010. I don’t like speaking in public so I’ll be brief. Here is a slide show. I think you’ll find it pretty much explains everything you’ll ever need to know about your bright future. By the way, my associate Doctor Seuss helped me put this together.”
In closing, my humble advice is that y’all go stick your heads in Easy Bake Ovens. I don’t need the damn competition from you nitwits in the job market.
As you embark on this new chapter in your lives, remember to always be true to yourselves. Now spread your wings and fly!