Today I take time out to pass along an important and wonderful piece of wisdom that has brought immediate and innumerable benefits to my interpersonal relationships. It works with your lovers and, just maybe, even your spouse.
In a nutshell, the secret is this: Find a way to say, “Yes.”
That’s it. Therein lies the key to unlocking exciting new worlds of mystery and imagination. Seldom in life do we encounter such transformative power in six simple words. Find a way to say yes. That’s all you have to do.
I’ve adapted this technique in my daily life and I happily bear witness to the awe and sense of wonder it brings.
Please allow me a few moments to demonstrate how it works.
“Do I look fat?”
“Did you take out the trash?”
“Do you want the last cookie?”
“Have you ever cheated on me?”
“Do you have a headache?”
“Were you killed in that car accident?”
I don’t often fall for quick fix gimmicks but in this case I have to admit, it really works. If you give it a try, please use the comment section below to let me know how it goes.
Al Dente? Who the hell is he? LOL! No, he’s not a person. He’s a thing. Al dente is actually Italian. It means “this bites.” (Disclaimer: This is a guess. I was too lazy to google. –Ed.)
In honor of my wife asking me to think about what I’ve learned during ten years of marriage (our anniversary is next week) I thought really hard and remembered spaghetti.
That’s using the old noodle!
My wife, although technically not a “chef,” is nonetheless extremely accomplished and talented in the kitchen. She really knows how to cook. Naturally this is both good and bad. Good in the sense that there are a lot of good eats. Bad in the sense that every meal dirties every pot, pan and kitchen implement in the house.
It’s bad in one other small way. It’s such a slight of a trifle that it’s almost not worth mentioning. Almost.
Every single thing I do is wrong. In the kitchen, I mean.
So there I was this one time making spaghetti. That means I had dumped some packaged noodles in a pot of boiling water. To me that’s “cooking.”
As was often my wont, when the timer went off I picked up the pot and dumped the noodles in a colander in the sink.
My wife saw. “What the hell are you doing?” she yelled.
Oh shit. Little Tommy in trouble.
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What if I told you there was a way to obtain the private phone number for anyone you want? And what if it was completely legal? Now how much would you pay?
Imagine it. You could call anyone you wanted. Maybe even someone like Britney Spears.
[ringtone] … hit me baby one more time … [click]
You: Hi, Britney. OMG, OMG, OMG!!! I can’t believe I’m really talking to you!!!
Britney (irritated): Who the hell is this?
You: It’s me.
Britney (speaking to someone else): Dammit. How the hell do they get this number? I was in the middle of lighting a cigarette, too. [click]
You: Britney? Britney? Are you there? Are you there? [pause] Britney, I love you! [pause] Oh, shit. [pause] Okay, it’s my move in Warhammer 40,000. Okay, okay. Let me finish up the paint job on this Tyranid Trygon first.
If you want conversations like that and so much more, make the jump for my secret, surefire technique. The probabilities are that you’ll love it.
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