Tag Archives: that

The Evolution of Tweet

Jerry Jones guano

Evolving a tweet.

I thought it might be an interesting diversion to show you the creative process. The author stuff that goes on behind the curtain. This is also known as “I got nothing.”

For today we’ll consider the creation of a tweet, an art form limited to 140 characters or less.

The process begins with the humble germination of an idea. There’s nothing quite like that flash of inspiration that goes off like the proverbial lightbulb over one’s head. It may even be prompted by physical stimuli, such as something cold and squishy between one’s toes. Whatever it takes because the tweet is the thing!
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Boss Said That #challenge #contest

A contest!

You could win this action figure – some dude from The Simpsons cartoon I think – and only previously mauled by a cat.

The premise for the contest: Boss said that!

Rules: Post a comment on this post or a tweet at @shoutabyss on Twitter to enter. The entry must contain an actual boss quotation.

The winner will be selected by the Abyss Editorial Board by the end of November. The winning entry will be selected based on a strict criteria consisting of some combination of unparalleled excellence of the following: pith, assholiness, negativity, futility, moronitude, doublespeak, obliviosity, ineptness, greed, deception, lack of ethics, obfuscation, pointlessness, drooling, criminality and/or hypocrisy.

The winning entry will be announced on this blog and on the official Abyss twitter feed.

Disclaimer: To claim the prize, the winner grants reprint rights to the Abyss.

The prize will be sent via the United States Postal Service to locations within the United States. Estimated value of prize: 42 drachmas or one-tenth of one cent, whichever is less. Odds of winning: 100% (based on a single entrant). Additional entrants will lower odds of winning accordingly.

To get things started, here’s an example of actual words uttered by a prickholio of a boss:

I have spoken.
–Boss

This particular example was spoken three months after a suggestion was called stupid by the boss, right after the boss said the idea would be implemented as his idea. Fuck nut.

Enter early and enter often. There can only be one winner, the rest of you will be dinner. Good luck!