That’s the way I like it. Long odds against … well, impossible odds.
I made my time (sic) and said my goodbyes. “Goodbye, iPod. Goodbye, iMac. Goodbye, iPad. Goodbye, Apple TV.” I’m only human so I brought the iPad with me. I knew we would make a fine Thelma & Louise moment together.
I was going to that McDonalidzed experience at the strip mall where they make eyeglasses. What the hell, you can only die once.
I made sure to bring my blue pen. We were decidedly heading out past the point of no return.
I squinted and turned to face my destiny. I took that warm feeling spreading through my pants as a sign I was doing the right thing.
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We enjoy going out to eat. It’s one of the simple pleasures remaining in our life, one of the rare ways that we can still sometimes pamper ourselves. Even though we live in a culinary desert and the economy has forced us to tighten our belts, we still get out and support our favorite local spots as often as we can.
A couple of years ago a steakhouse opened here in town. (Mmm, meat memories!) What goes good with steak? Yep! A nice baked potato. This restaurant would serve the potato with butter. If you wanted anything else, like sour cream and chives, that was an “upgrade” and cost an additional $1.50. Needless to say we never went back. And last time I looked, the place was closed down. What a shocker.
Recently my wife and I have been noticing another trend. We call it the “not-so-special” special. It works like this. You enter the restaurant and see the little board labeled “Specials.” This board is usually one of the first things you see when you walk through the front door. Often times the special boards will be brightly lit with snazzy neon colors and happy little drawings.
The special will usually be written in hand. That imports a sense of urgency. Hey, this must have been written today. That is special!
So, what’s on the board today? For example, it might say something like this: “Spicy chicken with eggplant. $9.95.”
“Mmm. That sounds good,” you think to yourself. Then you get seated and handed a menu.
You know what happens next, right? Wait … for … it …
On the menu you find among the other items a little dish called “Spicy chicken with eggplant.” Okay. It’s a regular menu item in addition to being on “special.” No big dealio.
But we can’t help but be curious, right? So what is the “special” price? Let’s take a quick peek. Yeppers! $9.95. Read ’em and weap.
After a few “whiskey tango foxtrots” and “cluster of goats” muttered under my breath, the wheels in my head invariably start turning. “What exactly is so special here?”
Am I nuts or should the “special” be special in some way? Maybe it’s offered at a special price. Maybe it includes a special ingredient.
But the same thing at the same price? That’s a “special?” That’s not even trying. Sup with that? Check please!