Be that as it may, I thought I’d share. And here, in writing, is my bold claim: I literally guarantee I will make at least one of these come true. You can take that to the bank. Which one? Only time can tell.
- Publish a novel
- Watch every episode of Downton Abbey
- CrossFit every day
- Acquire one dozen “iMac with 5k Retina Display” and run them in parallel to update my blog
- Be honored as Volunteer of the Year
- Perform the song Uptown Funk on American Idol
- High dive into the Ik Kil Yucatán cenote
- Eat a donut
I’ll report back when I’ve accomplished one of these.
I ain’t got the time or the inclination to make another year in review video. Maybe next year. Until then I’m recycling this garbage from two years ago. Use your God-given powers of imagination and relive 2014 Shouts From The Abyss classic moments like these:
This year, rather than post the same “hey look at me!” crapola found on every other WordPress blog (no offense intended) I decided to do something different. I asked my wife to share her favorite blog posts from 2012 and offer commentary. Her detailed remarks, verbatim quotations, and links to her hand-selected posts are found under the video below.
Today, on the first day of a new year, I know some people celebrate by going all couch potato and shit and watching the New Year’s Day Twilight Zone marathon. (It’s only 45 hours long so do try to squeeze it in if you can.)
Me? I like to be different. I like to be special.
While researching for the biggest douchebags and/or assholes of 2011 I stumbled happenstance on a whole new art form of entertainment to meet my holiday TV marathoning needs.
But first, a few thoughts about the research. In my quest for the biggest douchebags and assholes of 2011 I had to establish some rules. For example, outright criminal behavior doesn’t count. That stuff is on a whole other level. That leaves people like scumbag Jerry Sandusky off the list.
Douchebaggery is more about bad form and poor taste. It’s about being an ass or a jerk.
Continue reading →
In a new tradition here in the Abyss, I decided I wanted to highlight my favorite Post of the Year for 2010. Because of my wife’s prodigious use of the word “ego” in the previous post, I decided to select only one post.
I knew the award had to be gold. I knew it had to be poop. What I didn’t know was that the internet would have exactly what I had envisioned.
Maybe my thinking isn’t quite as original as I like to believe?
And the 2010 Golden Poo for the best original post shat from the Abyss in a screenplay, adaptation or blog goes to…
Post: In the service of the King
Originally posted on January 5, 2010
This has got to be one of the most favorite things I’ve ever written. I just love it if I do say so myself. (And I don’t mind if I do.) I even created the photoshop to come up my family’s very own coat of arms. Interestingly, the meaning behind the fictional name of “Gristle” isn’t too far from the real truth! I’m so happy to be carrying on with a proud family tradition.
I think this post represents the peak of this particular blog and it has all been downhill ever since.
Long live The Golden Poo!